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Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Book by Jarod Kintz · 29 quotes · Duck, Ducks, Duck Quote

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Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators. Quotes

“A slap is a high-five to a face. People are so selfish these days that they could really benefit from that kind of support. Here on my duck farm, I provide that service to select customers for FREE.”

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Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“A dishwasher has a spinning blade inside, and that's like an internal helicopter of cleanliness. Next time, try hygiene and flying, which is to almost attain the status of The Duck.”

DucksDuckCleanlinessDuck QuoteDuck QuotesHygieneHelicopterDishwasher
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Yogurt is culture. Post-post-modern literature is not. I wish I'd have known that before I went to college to learn how to communicate with less efficiency than ducks, because it’s a spoonful that's hard to swallow at first.”

CultureEducationCollegeDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesYogurt
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“The skills needed to stay employable are changing daily, which is why I'm now offering a class called: "How To Sew Pants While Riding A Unicycle And Playing The Saxophone Like A Quacking Duck." What are the jobs of The Future? Nobody knows, but my class will train you to Get Hired!”

JobsAbsurdEmploymentDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesSaxophone
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I play mini-golf like I shoot pool like I swim in it. That's also how I play the trombone, which is why it makes trumpet noises. For a saxophone-free duck quacking experience, try adding more water.”

SwimSwimmingPoolDucksWeirdSurrealDuckSaxophoneTrumpetMini Golf
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“When I walk my feet and knees pop. They always have. I could never be a ninja. I'm as stealthy as a strobe light at midnight, which of course is the universal sign for Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. My neighbors love when I flash that deal outside their bedroom windows.”

AbsurdDucksSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesNinjaSneakyDeal
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, neither cats nor waterfalls lay eggs, which makes ducks the superior jazz musicians.”

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Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Maybe we communicate with ducks not through words, but with body language. Maybe the word quack doesn’t mean everything—or even anything. Maybe all that matters is what our body says when we converse with a duck.”

LanguageCommunicationConversationDucksDuckBody LanguageQuack
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“The Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich was so popular that customers stabbed each other to get it, and then seeing that passion, McDonald's created its own Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Here on my duck farm, I fully support McDonald's trying to get their customers to stab each other.”

ViolenceCustomersDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesSpicy Chicken SandwichPopeyes
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I once got stabbed, and all I got to show for it was a Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Oh, and a scar. But that was years ago, so I think they should release a Spicy Duck Sandwich—and when purchased, it would include a FREE knife.”

HumorDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesSpicy Chicken Sandwich
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Of all the animals that fly, some are like floating flowers (butterflies), some are songbirds that are full of gulp (swallows), and some are swimming birds that also run marathons (ducks). When I compose music to be performed live in an elevator, those are my inspirations.”

InspirationFlowerDucksButterflyMarathonDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesSongbird
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Along with ducks, I’m somewhat of a wine expert. I know there are three kinds of wine: Red, white, and pink, for those connoisseurs like me who mix the two for optimal chugging. I should be a sommelier and rent out my alcoholic grape juice experience to sophisticated buyers.”

WineAlcoholAbsurdDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesExpertSommelier
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“My favorite part about a wind farm is the invisible fruit that it yields. Plus, it's like a garden of giant metal flowers, and that's almost as romantic as a book composed exclusively of duck quotes.”

BookHumorQuotesBooksQuoteAbsurdDucksFlowersDuckWind Farm
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. Here at my Duck Farm Gift Shop, I've got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I'll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)”

TreasureAbsurdDucksSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesDealMapKnights Templar
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Time flies, it's true. But what kind of wings does it have, butterfly wings, bat wings, or eagle wings? None. It has the wings of a duck, which is why I'm surprised nobody in history has noticed that time also swims.”

TimeSwimmingDucksButterflyDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesTime FliesEagleBat
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”

DancingDanceAbsurdDucksSurrealDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesBransonBransom Missouri
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Thanks to my ducks practicing for The Monteverdi Choir tryouts, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. No, I slept a whole blink, which is more restful and less flirtatious than a wink.”

SingingDucksFlirtingDuckDuck QuoteSingDuck QuotesFlirtWinkWeird Duck Quote
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Before I had a duck farm, I had a business partner. Between Brian and I, we had a thousand dollars invested. Brian had $990, and I had all the rest. I really did have all the rest, because I slept while he worked.”

WorkSleepMoneyBusinessInvestingLazyDucksDuckInvestBusiness Partner
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are waking up. I'd like to think my ducks quacking for their breakfast in the morning is also helping The Sleepwalkers rise from their slumber.”

PoliticsSleepDucksDuckSleepingDuck QuoteDuck QuotesSlumberSleepwalkingSleepawalk
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's foolish, because when I'm not duck farming, I'm a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.”

MarriageDucksBicycleSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesStealCar Sales
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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