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Shannon L. Alder Biography

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“People with trust issues also have faith and humility issues. You can't ask the world to rise to your expectations, yet not meet that same standard for others. The notion that God didn't hurt me, but you did becomes an illogical argument for many. People who are trying to love you feel that they can never meet your definition of love because it is one sided or has rules that don't apply to you, as well. This is when the teachings of Christ become distorted. Forgiveness, compassion, love, kindness and second chances becomes a game. People in your life feel they must win it to receive it, which is far from the unconditional love God gives us. In the end, the person with trust issues find themself on a journey of perfection seeking out people incapable of mistakes like the last person or hurting their self esteem. Sadly, they miss the blessings of growth that come through humbly accepting they are also flawed and make mistakes. They miss the blessings of faith because they don't invite God into their heart, so he can help them overcome their cycle of pain. They miss the peace that comes from forgiveness and being forgiven. But most of all, they miss out on the beautiful people God brings into their life who love them so much.”

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“Empowered Women 101: Only an insecure woman with control issues will look outside her relationship and say other people are to blame for her husband's lack of focus, love and respect. A real woman knows that the problem isn't other people; it is her man. If he truly loved you he wouldn't have ever made you an option and went looking for what he felt you didn't have. Don't waste your time trying to convince someone to see your worth by destroying others. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, more spiritual and more accomplished than you to distract this person. A real woman knows her worth and will never have to train anyone to recognize it.”

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“It doesn't matter if she was prettier than you when he decided to cheat. She was treated like trash just like you. He didn't commit to her. He didn't love her soul or cherished any of her accomplishments. He just liked her face and what is that? It is nothing. That is not who she is. He didn't give his heart or time to her. She was the one that was cheated because he stayed with you. You never lost him because he never made a commitment to her. So don't be so hard on the other woman. She was treated poorly also. She was nothing to him. She was only something superficial that he coveted. But loving her? Knowing her? Sharing his deepest feelings with her?... No! She could have been any pretty face. It was never her but a fantasy. He didn't even know her, but for her beauty. And what is beauty? It is anything that can be bought at a plastic surgeon's office?”

BeautyTrustDivorceBetrayalCheatersCheatsOther Woman
Book:The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
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“You are not an option, a choice or a soft place to land after a long battle. You were meant to be the one. If you can wrap yourself around the idea that you are something incredible, then you will stop excusing behavior that rapes your very soul. You were never meant to teach someone to love you. You were meant to be loved.”

LoveWinningCourageSelf EsteemConfidenceEmpowermentDignityQueensSelf RespectLove YourselfEmpowering WomenStay PositiveRise UpKnow Your WorthDoormats
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“People that don't know what they are worth will always see their capture's wings, but never their tail.”

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“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. God doesn’t bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?”

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“A woman or man of value doesn’t love you because of what he or she wants you to be or do for them. He or she loves you because your combined souls understand one another, complements each other, and make sense above any other person in this world. You each share a part of their soul's mirror and see each other’s light reflected in it clearly. You can easily speak from the heart and feel safe doing so. Both of you have been traveling a parallel road your entire life. Without each other's presence, you feel like an old friend or family member was lost. It bothers you, not because you have given it too much meaning, but because God did. This is the type of person you don't have to fight for because you can't get rid of them and your heart doesn't want them to leave anyways.”

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“Sometimes your inability to let go has nothing to do with real love and everything to do with what that person represents in your life. Why do you give them so much importance? Why do you believe that God doesn't love you enough that he would not bring someone else into your life? Why do you put up with less than you deserve?”

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“You can't always expect people to apply your wisdom when they didn't use wisdom before they found themselves knee deep in their version of justice.”

WisdomPainFaithChoicesGamesFearJusticeSinKnowledgeIgnoranceFriendsAnxietyForgivenessLiesLogicBlindInjusticeStupidityRevengeEnvyLustCrueltyJealousyArroganceInsecurityLogicalLiarsRepentanceBullyingBiasActionsConsequencesJustifiedSpeculationBest FriendsStereotypesHeartlessRevelationStrangersUneducatedLogical ThinkingIntentionsFalseSinnersRumorsNeighborsLustfulBad ChoicesCommonsenseLies We Tell OurselvesUnjustifiedCyberbullyingStalkersRevengefulVictims Of WarBlindsightedConsequences Of EvilEnviousnessCoverupsVictims Of AbuseUneducated MindPaybacksSmoke ScreensConsequences Of CrueltyConsequences Of DesireJustified AssumptionsUnwise PeopleFaithless In GodFalse IntentionsUnwise FriendsUnwise Men
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“Half of the time, the Holy Ghost tries to warn us about certain people that come into our life. The other half of the time he tries to tell us that the sick feeling we get in a situation is not the other person’s fault, rather it is our own hang-ups. A life filled with bias, hatred, judgment, insecurity, fear, delusion and self-righteousness can cloud the soul of anyone you meet. Our job is never to assume,instead it is to listen, communicate, ask questions then ask more, until we know the true depth of someone’s spirit.”

LoveChildrenChoicesFearRelationshipsAnswersCompassionFamilyChristianitySeeingCommunicationListeningFriendsAnxietyEmpathyJesus ChristDatingSeekingMental IllnessMothersNew YearBiasHomelessSistersQuestionsSermonsSeekersHoly GhostListenFamily MembersFathersStrangersFirst ImpressionsBrothersSelf RighteousnessChristmas SpiritBrainwashedNew PerspectiveResolutionsBenefit Of The DoubtDelusionsReaching OutMental DisordersChurch MembersKnowing SomeoneSpirtualEternal TruthsPromptingsRelgionAquaintancesNot SeeingPersepctiveExfamilyForgiving FamilyForgiving FriendsForgiving SistersWrong Impresssions
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“Never sever ties with a family member you once loved. Each of you might be on different spiritual paths, but both trails are leading you home.”

LoveReligionFaithChoicesHealingCompassionFamilyLearningLessonsEmpathyTestsForgivingIllnessTrialsRedemptionObedienceWellnessSistersBlessingsMisunderstandingRestoringFightsMendingRepairingMental DisordersLoss Of FamilySpiritual JourneysSpiritual PathsNever Or ForeverFamily S Our ForeverLoss Of Sister
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“Some of the most beautiful things worth having in your life come wrapped in a crown of thorns.”

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“I am not perfect, but if I looked perfect to everyone I must have been rocking imperfect perfectly to a few imperfect souls that seek imperfection vs. perfection, in an imperfect world where God asks us to seek perfection for our imperfect souls.”

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“If you were born with the ability to change someone’s perspective or emotions, never waste that gift. It is one of the most powerful gifts God can give—the ability to influence.”

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“Cheaters only cheat when they are missing something. There is a loss going on and it is up to you to figure out what that is. Their reason might be stupid to you but to them it was more important than you realize. Because cheaters know the risks they are taking. They know cheating is not a casual thing. There is something so intense inside of them to drive them to that point. You might not like what that thing might be, but you must accept it is there and either fill that need or move on. This loss could be anything: attention, someone more attractive, control, dominance, boredom...you name it. You will never heal a relationship unless you accept that there truly is a "why" that the cheater is not willing to share with you.”

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Book:The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
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“Naive people tend to generalize people as—-good, bad, kind, or evil based on their actions. However, even the smartest person in the world is not the wisest or the most spiritual, in all matters. We are all flawed. Maybe, you didn’t know a few of these things about Einstein, but it puts the notion of perfection to rest. Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone. Nor, does a person’s mistakes make them less valuable to the world. 1. He divorced the mother of his children, which caused Mileva, his wife, to have a break down and be hospitalized. 2.He was a ladies man and was known to have had several affairs; infidelity was listed as a reason for his divorce. 3.He married his cousin. 4.He had an estranged relationship with his son. 5. He had his first child out of wedlock. 6. He urged the FDR to build the Atom bomb, which killed thousands of people. 7. He was Jewish, yet he made many arguments for the possibility of God. Yet, hypocritically he did not believe in the Jewish God or Christianity. He stated, “I believe in Spinoza’s God who reveals himself in the harmony of all that exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fate and the doings of mankind.”

ReasonPhilosophyFactsWisdomTruthReligionHistoryGeniusEgoResearchExpectationsIntelligenceTheologyEducatedArroganceReasoningInvestigationBe ProudNaiveLameGod S PlanSelf RighteousCollege DegreeEinsteinStudyingCommonsensePhilosophersDebatesDo The Right ThingLife MissionCallingsWorthynessFabricated QuotesBe Not AshamedEinstein S LifeKnowing HistoryPeityUnfair High Standards
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“Arrogance is someone claiming to have come to Christ, but they won't spend more than five minutes listening to your journey because they are more concerned about their own well being, rather than being a true disciple of Christ. Blessed is the person that takes the time to heal and hear another person so they can move on.”

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