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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.”

PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers
Author:Dave Barry
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“Terence, this is stupid stuff: You eat your victuals fast enough; There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear, To see the rate you drink your beer. But oh, good Lord, the verse you make, It gives a chap the belly-ache. The cow, the old cow, she is dead; It sleeps well the horned head: We poor lads, 'tis our turn now To hear such tunes as killed the cow. Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme Your friends to death before their time. Moping, melancholy mad: Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.”

GivingWellsEnoughTurnsStuffSleepPoorLordClearStupidDrinkHumorousMadRateBeerTunesMelancholyCowsVersesRhymeBellyAchePipeLadChapsSleep Well
Author:A. E. Housman
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