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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.”

Giving Age Funny Politics Humorous Give Me Philosophical Aging Witty Chastity Funny Sex Hippo

Author:Saint Augustine

“Give me a museum and I'll fill it.”

Giving Powerful Ego Humorous Give Me Witty Museums

Author:Pablo Picasso

“One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.”

Giving Mind Firsts Two Hands Hours Half Teach Mines Ten Humorous Give Me Clock Extras Wheels Ems Drivers Half Hours Steering

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”

Ifs Giving Humor Funny Names Money Clear Humorous Give Me Atheist Witty Skepticism Banking Bankers Atheistic Deposits Funny Money Swiss

Author:Woody Allen

“My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.”

Giving Littles Funny Left Advice One Day Humorous Give Me Likes Comedian Grandfather My Grandfather Forgetful Funny Comedian

Author:Ron Richards

“He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.”

Thinking Want Giving Liberty Humorous Give Me Independence Copies Tattoo Declaration Declaration Of Independence My Boyfriend

Author:Randy Glasbergen

“Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?”

Giving Loses Humorous Give Me Planes Nails Airline Air Travel

Author:Robin Williams