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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Considering that "literary fiction" is a sub-genre that's not quite the same as "literature," either, it follows that the short, semi-humorous bits posted online for all to see are something absolutely other, uniquely themselves compared to canonical short stories, for example, and so it'd probably be best to call it something other than "online lit" since I honestly think very little of it can compare to so-called "literature."”

Thinking Littles Stories Literature Bits Fiction Example Humorous Honestly Compare Genre Online Short Story Considering Lit

Author:Lee Klein

“Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.”

Children Literature Sex Humorous Add Parenting Bother Discussion Discussing Small Child

Book:The Fran Lebowitz Reader

Source: The Fran Lebowitz Reader

“God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.”

Funny Literature Exercise Humorous Witty Clubs

Author:Naguib Mahfouz

“Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors.”

Literature Humorous Doctors Medicine Medical Best Things Feeding Injection Best Medical

Author:Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.”

Ifs Persons Facts Body Funny Literature Humorous Witty Your Body Plates Hilarious Funny Inspirational Cholesterol Scientific Facts Body Temperature

Book:My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry

Source: My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry

“The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.”

Ifs Humor Funny Literature Laughing Judging Months Six Laughter Humorous Evidence Ears Jail Penalties Six Months Jury Courtroom Judge And Jury

Author:H. L. Mencken

“When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”

Men Motivational Literature Attitude Humorous Witty Generosity Selfishness Insightful Packages Egotism Egoism Small Packages

Author:John Ruskin

“Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.”

Knows Enough Funny Literature Skills Humorous Witty Funny Inspirational Ahead Of Time

Author:Marilyn vos Savant

“I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.”

Funny America Literature Military Humorous Boxes Emperor Snuff

Author:Lord Byron

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.”

Writing Book Reading Literature Waste Humorous Witty Clever Rejection Copies Classic Insult

Author:Moses Hadas

“The principal purpose of the Democratic Party is to use the force of government to take property away from the people who earn it and give it to people who do not.”

People Giving Use Government Purpose Literature Force Party Republican Humorous Property Democratic Democrat Principal Democratic Party

Author:Neal Boortz

“Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.”

Men Wells May Funny Spirit Literature Humorous Credit Temper Well Dressed Getting Dressed Up

Author:Charles Dickens