Darynda Jones Quotes

“I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Mean Hate Stuff Nice I Hate Chickens

Book:Second Grave on the Left

Source: Second Grave on the Left

“Do not disturb. Already there.”

“guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Feelings Care Guy Who Cares Posters

Author:Darynda Jones

“I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker”

Thinking Children I Can Whole Children Love Bumper Sticker Bumper Sticker

“He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Determine Resolve Milk Prudence Tact Unwavering

Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead

Source: Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.”

Giving Should Chance Gone Should Have Hogwarts Charley Davidson

Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead

Source: Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.”

School Taken Nice Feet Fronts Building Dad Daughter My Dad Bars Thirty Sat Apartment Cookies Calamity Amber Raccoons

“after an epic search, I finally found something neither green nor fuzzy. It was a hot sausage link. I named it Peter, mostly because it seemed like the right thing to do. As soon as my java was piping hot I popped him into the microwave. hopefully the radioactive environment would sterilize Peter. No need to have little Peters running around, wreaking havoc.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Needs Littles Running Found Environment Hot Green Hopefully Things To Do Right Thing Links Peter Epic Sausage Havoc Fuzzy Java Microwaves

Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead

Source: Third Grave Dead Ahead

“My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.”

Behinds Percent Errors Allowing Warning Margins Calculations Surgeons Intervals Corresponding Tacos Charley Davidson Radius

Book:First Grave on the Right

Source: First Grave on the Right

“In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.”

Dog Rain Defense Cookies Wildcats

Book:Second Grave on the Left

Source: Second Grave on the Left

“Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.”

Source: First Grave on the Right

“You either fainted or you wanted a much closer look at the cracks in the tile. Either way, you hit hard." "Seriously?" He nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have been trying to make out with him," he suggested. How did he know that? "I was kissing him good-bye." He snorted and exchanged glances with the nurse. "That's not what it looked like to me." Probably not. But what happened? Could Reyes Farrow take control over me even from a freaking coma? I was doomed.”

Knows Way Trying Looks Has Beens Hard Wanted Happened Kissing Cracks Nurse Doomed Glances Bye Good Bye Make Out Take Control Coma Kissing Him Tiles Reyes Farrow

“Garrett must have sensed I was awake. "Hey Detective," he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward us. "I think we're losing her. I have no choice but to perform mouth-to-mouth." "Don't you dare," I said, my lids still in lockdown.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Thinking Said Stills Choices Losing Mouths Dare Hey Awake Bob Uncles Detectives Losing Her

Book:First Grave on the Right

Source: First Grave on the Right

“Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.”

Looks Boys August Macho Slush

“My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Strong Bullshit Persuasion Charley Davidson Power Of Persuasion

“It is sexy in here or is it just me?”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Sexy

Book:Second Grave on the Left

Source: Second Grave on the Left

“You’re the reason I breathe”

Reason Breathe

“Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Way Waiting Those Who Wait

Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead

Source: Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.”

Children Night Evil Names Destiny Normal Expected Demon Exotic Chilly

Book:Second Grave on the Left

Source: Second Grave on the Left

“But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - " Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.”

Ifs Men Looks Appeals Passages

Author:Darynda Jones

“Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie”

Way Should Car Yeah Illegal Waking Cookies Horns Naps Charley Davidson Waking Me Up

Author:Darynda Jones

“Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.”

Sticks Unpredictable Carrots Glitches

“If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?" I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out. "I love your iMac." "I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her." "But you'll be decomposing.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Ifs Body Spirit Guy Journey Remains Lays Missions Decades Graves Desert Shallow Lifeless Cameron Imac

Author:Darynda Jones

“That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.”

Needs Boys Killing Hobbies Stalking Serials

“I know," he said in almost bored contemplation. "My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood." "I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Knows Said Would Be Mother Childhood Personality Proud Manners Bored Contemplation Disorder Be Proud Narcissistic Schizophrenia Lace Chalk Personality Disorders

Author:Darynda Jones

“We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.: Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.”

Way Trying Three Justice Dark Blind Cheese Mice Stumbling Truth And Justice Hunk Glitches Musketeers Three Musketeers

“And," Amber said, practically drooling as she ogled him, "it's tradition for new arrivals to help with the pep rally." Brooklyn quirked her lips in doubt. "Tradition?" "It's a new tradition," Amber shot back. "Clearly the deeper meaning of the word has escaped you.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Said Helping Doubt Shots Tradition Lips Deeper Brooklyn Arrivals Amber Deeper Meaning Pep Drooling New Arrivals Pep Rally

Author:Darynda Jones

“I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.”

Two Knowing Doubt Alive Shadow Sat Two Of Us Two Best Friends

“Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Killers Serials Serial Killer

“Least he's committed," I offered. "Or needs to be.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Needs Committed

“I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Wells May Stills Self Enough Loss Walks Cutting Self Esteem Esteem Exit Had Enough Crawling Hasty Demoralizing

“What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Pardon Pardon Me

“Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Men Want Wells Fruit Forbidden Forbidden Fruit

“Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Men Wanted Behinds Wheels

“"I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?"... "Um, no, you're not getting my iMac." "Dang."”

Source: Death and the Girl Next Door

Ifs Thinking Said Use Guy Next Rooms Rich Mountain Computer Sitting Twenties Tables Clean Seven Vegas Las Vegas Brooklyn Mansions Imac

Author:Darynda Jones

“You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT”

Stupid Shirts T Shirt Numb You Can't Fix Stupid

Author:Darynda Jones

“Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?”

Trying Guy My Own Sleep Mets Hot Producers Bob Apartment Uncles Glare Hot Guy

“Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.”

Source: Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

“I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.”

Men I Can Ideas Seems Girl No Idea Scream

“For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth. I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Thinking Wells Mean Enough Dream Hands Happens Running Desire Energy Wish Week Lows Let Me Drinking Tongue Teeth Salt Apartment Stoops Margarita

“He's an enigma wrapped up in sensuality padlocked with a dozen chains of desire and topped off with a razor-sharp ribbon of danger. There are more layers to him than a billionaire's wedding cake.”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Desire Danger Chains Sensuality Cake Dozen Layers Billionaire Razors Ribbons Enigma Wedding Cake

“There is a fine line between love and hate, or haven't you heard? Sometimes it's hard to decipher exactly which emotion is strongest." I raised my chin. "I don't love you either." He lowered his head and watched me from underneath his dark lashes. "Are you certain? Because the emotion pouring out of you every time I'm near you is certainly not disinterest." "That doesn't mean it's love." "It could be, I promise you. Take off that sweater and give me ten minutes, and you'll believe beyond a shadow of a doubt you're in love.”

Source: Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT”

Want Opinion Shirts Remove Tape T Shirt Duct Tape

“He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.”

Source: Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

Want Firsts Long Wanted Given Cases Information Get Back

“I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT”

Source: The Charley Davidson Series

Behave Shirts T Shirt

“Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.”

Source: Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

Guy Heaven Hurt Sake Insane Asylums Insane Asylum