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H. L. Mencken

H. L. Mencken Quotes

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Famous H. L. Mencken Quotes

“When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental - men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre.”

ThinkingMenDoeIdeasDoneWholeFactsFacesLostTermEmotionHe ManOfficeMarkChiefsCandidatesVotersDreadOddsPacksDominantIncapableMediocreBarkElementalsWeighingPublic OfficeComprehendingDevious
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. There is in every living creature an obscure but powerful impulse to active functioning. Life demands to be lived. Inaction, save as a measure of recuperation between bursts of activity, is painful and dangerous to the healthy organism- in fact, it is almost impossible. Only the dying can be really idle.”

LifeReasonFactsSuccessPowerfulImpossibleDyingDangerousGoes OnHealthyActivityDemandCreaturesPainfulActiveImpulseEggsIdleOrganismsSuccess In LifeObscureInactionLiving CreaturesHensRecuperation
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“I devoured hot-dogs in Baltimore 'way back in 1886, and they were then very far from newfangled...They contained precisely the same rubber, indigestible pseudo-sausages that millions of Americans now eat, and they leaked the same flabby, puerile mustard. Their single point of difference lay in the fact that their covers were honest German Wecke made of wheat-flour baked to crispiness, and not the soggy rolls prevailing today, of ground acorns, plaster-of-Paris, flecks of bath-sponge, and atmospheric air all compact.”

WayMadeFactsTodayDifferencesMillionsAirHonestDogFoodHotCookingLaysParisCulinaryBathsWheatPrevailingRubberSausageBaltimoreSpongesPseudoCompactHot DogMustardFlourAcornsPlasters
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“The theory behind representative government is that superior men-or at least men not inferior to the average in ability and integrity-are chosen to manage the public business, and that they carry on this work with reasonable intelligence and honest. There is little support for that theory in known facts.”

MenLittlesFactsGovernmentAbilityBehindsKnownLibertySupportHonestTheoryIntegrityAverageChosenSuperiorsManageReasonableRepresentativesInferiorsSuperior ManRepresentative Government
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“The notion that science does not concern itself with first causes - that it leaves the field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to mere effects - this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could, science would explain the origin of life on earth at once - and there is every reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow. To argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be filled, not by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply to give ignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity.”

IfsGivingFirstsBelieveDoeReasonFactsEarthCausesSupportAtheismEffectsFieldsIgnoranceTomorrowConcernDignityFilledMereNotionPatientIntuitionPositive AtheismArguingTheologyRevelationsGapsMetaphysicsInquirySeekersOrigin Of Life
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. When they fail to come off its clergy simply say that they will be realized later on. Thus, if we have another boom, they will argue that the collapse of capitalism is only postponed. The fact that the greatest booms ever heard of followed Marx's formal prophecy of the downfall of capitalism is already forgotten, just as millions have long since forgotten the early Christian prophecy that the end of the world was at hand. The first Christians accepted postponements as docilely as the Communists of today.”

IfsWorldFirstsLongMadeEndsFactsHandsTodayChristianChristianityMillionsFailingHeardCapitalismForgottenArguingAcceptedCommunismCommunistCollapseFormalProphecyEnd Of The WorldDownfallClergyPostponement
Book:Minority Report
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“What reason is there for believing that a high death rate, in itself, is undesirable? To my knowledge none whatever. The plain fact is that, if it be suitably selective, it is extremely salubrious. Suppose it could be so arranged that it ran to 100% a year among politicians, executive secretaries, drive chairmen, and the homicidally insane? What rational man would object?”

IfsMenYearsBelieveReasonFactsObjectsPoliticianRateRationalInsaneRanExecutivesSecretaryChairmanSelectiveUndesirable
Book:Mencken Chrestomathy
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“I hope I need not confess that a large part of my stock in trade consists of platitudes rescued from the cobwebbed shelves of yesterday... This borrowing and refurbishing of shop-worn goods, as a matter of fact, is the invariable habit of traders in ideas, at all times and everywhere. It is not, however, that all the conceivable human notions have been thought out; it is simply, to be quite honest, that the sort of men who volunteer to think out new ones seldom, if ever, have wind enough for a full day's work.”

IfsThinkingMenNeedsHumansHas BeensIdeasMatterEnoughFactsHonestWindHabitTradeNotionYesterdayAll TimeShopsGoodsWornVolunteerShelvesMatter Of FactBorrowingTradersPlatitudes
Book:In Defense of Women: Human Sexuality
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“Civilization, in fact, grows more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. Wars are no longer waged by the will of superior men, capable of judging dispassionately and intelligently the causes behind them and the effects flowing out of them. The are now begun by first throwing a mob into a panic; they are ended only when it has spent its ferine fury.”

MenFirstsWarWholeFactsGrowsCausesBehindsDemocracyEffectsJudgingCivilizationCapableAimSafetySeriesMerePracticalsEndlessSuperiorsCombatThrowingImaginaryPanicFuryDegeneratesHystericalSuperior ManCraze
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities.”

IfsMenWayChildrenFactsWould BePoliticalExistenceProveValuableDefenseProofArguingLogicalEnduranceExtensionsSantaSanta ClausPragmatismImbecility
Book:Minority Report
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“The plain fact is that education is itself a form of propaganda - a deliberate scheme to outfit the pupil, not with the capacity to weigh ideas, but with a simple appetite for gulping ideas ready-made. The aim is to make 'good' citizens, which is to say, docile and uninquisitive citizens.”

MadeIdeasFactsFormSimpleReadyCitizensCapacityAimEducationalPropagandaAppetiteSchemesDeliberatePupilsHomeschoolingGood CitizenDocile
Book:H.L. Mencken's Smart Set Criticism
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“By profession a biologist, [Thomas Henry Huxley] covered in fact the whole field of the exact sciences, and then bulged through its four fences. Absolutely nothing was uninteresting to him. His curiosity ranged from music to theology and from philosophy to history. He didn't simply know something about everything; he knew a great deal about everything.”

KnowsPhilosophyWholeFactsScienceDealsKnowledgeFourFieldsCuriosityProfessionTheologyCoveredFenceAbsolutely NothingBiologistHuxleyExact Sciences
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“Only to often on meeting scientific men, even those of genuine distiction, one finds that they are dull fellows and very stupid. They know one thing to excess; they know nothing else. Pursuing facts too doggedly and unimaginatively, they miss all the charming things that are not facts. ... Too much learning, like too little learning, is an unpleasant and dangerous thing.”

KnowsMenLittlesFactsScienceKnowledgeToo MuchOne ThingDangerousMissingStupidScientistFellowsMeetingsGenuineDullExcessCharmingDangerous ThingsVery Stupid
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“It is difficult to imagine anyone having any real hopes for the human race in the face of the fact that the great majority of men still believe that the universe is run by a gaseous vertebrate of astronomical heft and girth, who is nevertheless interested in the minutest details of the private conduct of even the meanest man.”

MenBelieveHumansStillsRealFactsRunningFacesUniverseFearDifficultRaceImagineAtheismMajorityDetailsRageHuman RaceNeverthelessVertebratesGirth
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition.”

KnowsMenFactsShowsLyingWomenCommonAuthorityRegardFellowsFolksIntuitionProofPityAssMeritPhrasesFeminineDeceivingShallowPatheticDoingsGaudySaying And Doing
Book:In Defense of Women: Human Sexuality
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“The essence of a sound style is that it cannot be reduced to rules-that it is a living and breathing thing with something of the devilish in it-that it fits its proprietor tightly yet ever so loosely, as his skin fits him. It is, in fact, quite as seriously an integral part of him as that skin is. . . . In brief, a style is always the outward and visible symbol of a man, and cannot be anything else.”

MenFactsSoundStyleFitSkinsEssenceSymbolsBreathingVisibleDevilish
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“It is the invariable habit of bureaucracies, at all times and everywhere, to assume...that every citizen is a criminal. Their one apparent purpose, pursued with a relentless and furious diligence, is to convert the assumption into a fact. They hunt endlessly for proofs, and, when proofs are lacking, for mere suspicions. The moment they become aware of a definite citizen, John Doe, seeking what is his right under the law, they begin searching feverishly for an excuse for withholding it from him.”

DoeMomentsFactsLawPurposeHabitCitizensAssumingMereSeekingExcuseProofCriminalsAll TimeAssumptionVotingSuspicionLackingDefiniteBureaucracyHuntsPursuedRelentlessDiligenceFuriousWithholding
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth... Liberty is not a thing for the great masses of men. It is the exclusive possession of a small and disreputable minority, like knowledge, courage and honor. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty - and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.”

MenLoveFactsEnjoyJusticeLibertyCourageSpecialHonorMassDemocraticAveragePossessionLibertarianNineMinoritiesImaginaryHis LoveExclusiveOutlawDemocratic SocietyAverage ManGreat Libertarian
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“The fact is that liberty, in any true sense, is a concept that lies quite beyond the reach of the inferior man's mind. And no wonder, for genuine liberty demands of its votaries a quality he lacks completely, and that is courage. The man who loves it must be willing to fight for it; blood, said Jefferson, is its natural manure. Liberty means self-reliance, it means resolution, it means the capacity for doing without . . . the average man doesn't want to be free. He wants to be safe.”

MenWantLoveMindMeanSaidSelfFactsLyingFightingNaturalQualityLibertyWonderCourageBloodWillingHe ManSafeDemandConceptsCapacityAverageGenuineResolutionInferiorsSelf RelianceRelianceAverage ManManure
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon, however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable. Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even highly probable.”

MenBelieveMayReasonFactsSeemsTodayLawGivenNaturalForeverSeriousHealthLateAccountsProductionsCreatorNo ReasonPhenomenonMarvelousLaboratoryGoverningInexplicableNatural Phenomena
Author:H. L. Mencken
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“Of all the classes of men, I dislike the most those who make their livings by talking - actors, clergymen, politicians, pedagogues, and so on. .... It is almost impossible to imagine a talker who sticks to the facts. Carried away by the sound of his own voice and the applause from the groundlings, he makes inevitably the jump from logic to mere rhetoric.”

MenFactsActorsSoundVoiceTalkingClassImagineImpossiblePoliticianLogicSticksMereDislikeRhetoricApplauseTalkersCarried AwayClergymen
Book:Minority Report
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