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Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Television host

Jimmy Fallon, born in September 1974, is an American television host. He is widely recognized for hosting 'The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon', a show known for its interactive and entertaining nature. Fallon is known for his humorous hosting style and engaging interactions with guests.

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All Said President President Obama People Ifs Running Years Knows Clinton Thinking

Famous Jimmy Fallon Quotes

“Republicans also took control of the Senate after gaining another seven seats. I haven't seen the GOP get this many seats since Chris Christie made an airline reservation.”

Made Havens Republican Seven Seats Senate Airline Reservations Gop Christie

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Republican Scott Brown lost his bid for Senate in New Hampshire last night, two years after he was voted out as Senator in Massachusetts. When asked what he was planning to do next, he said, 'Are they still looking for a mayor in Toronto?'”

Years Said Stills Two Lasts Night Next Lost Republican Planning Brown Two Years Senate Senators Last Night Mayors Toronto Massachusetts Hampshire New Hampshire

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.”

Whole House Sides President White Secret Nice Doors Security Election Presses Meetings White House President Obama Coverage Attending Closed Doors Election Day Bright Side Secret Service

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Today is the midterm elections. The Washington Post is predicting that there's a 98 percent chance of the Republicans taking the Senate and The New York Times says there's a 75 percent chance. And CNN said, 'Wait, that's today?'”

Said Today Waiting Chance New York Republican Percent Election Posts Senate New York Times Cnn Predicting Midterms Midterm Elections

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Democrats have been doing everything they can to get young people and college students to vote in the midterms. Though if you want students to participate in something, maybe you shouldn't call them midterms.”

People Ifs Want Has Beens Young Students College Vote Democrat College Students Midterms

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“During a speech on Sunday, President Obama said to the crowd, 'We've got to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.' This went on for an hour until someone finally fixed his teleprompter.”

Said President Hours Speech Vote Crowds Fixed Sunday President Obama

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Politicians are really getting desperate. In fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid sent out a final fundraising email to Democrats with the subject line, 'I'm begging.' Because what better way to show you're a strong leader than acting like you're drunk and dialing your ex?”

“People ask me, Jimmy, howd you get here tonight. Lets just say it involved a two-hour make-out session with Elaine Stritch. It got pretty heavy actually, I almost had to host.”

People Two Asks Hours Involved Heavy Ask Me Tonight Host Session Jimmy Make Out

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“No-one gets beaten to death quite like Hilary Swank”

Film Hollywood Beaten Swank

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts.”

Said Funny Games Team Tough China Finished Shirts Usa Olympics T Shirt Medal London Olympics

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.”

Funny Next Winning Gold Blind South Athlete Scared Olympics Medal Korea Gold Medals South Korea Archery London Olympics

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'”

Funny Tests London Officials Olympics Monday Conducting Armstrong Steroid London Olympics

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going ot be weird when they're announcing all the countries, and he's like 'Got a bank account there, got one there, two bank accounts there.'”

Two Country Funny Courses Accounts London Opening Olympics Ceremony Romney Bank Accounts Announcing London Olympics Opening Ceremony

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'”

Knows Doe Said Ideas Lasts Night Talking Issues No Idea Interviews Last Night Romney Flip Flopping

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A group called the Texas Tea Party Patriots is hosting a debate next month where Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain will go head to head, while people watching that will go head to pillow.”

People Next Party Groups Months Debate Tea Texas Patriot Pillow Tea Party Cain Newts

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn't a steak.”

Israel Disappointed Jersey New Jersey Steak Gaza Christie Gaza Strip

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question: 'Who was raising that question?'”

Mind Made Said Running President Raises Yesterday Cnn Biden

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The White House is apparently pushing to create more Latino-themed landmarks. Now that's in addition to our current Latino-themed landmark, California.”

House White Currents California Pushing White House Latino Landmarks

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday the CEO of Citigroup said that he can understand why all these Occupy Wall Street protesters are so frustrated. In fact, he felt so bad for them, he gave himself a $10 million sympathy bonus.”

Said Facts Felt Millions Streets Wall Yesterday Frustrated Ceo Bonus Occupy Wall Street

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he's endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It's good news for Romney. I mean, you always want Chris Christie on your side. Unless you're in a canoe.”

Want Mean Today Sides President News Good News Jersey Romney Your Side New Jersey Christie Endorsing

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The White House announced that it has rejected several petitions to legalize marijuana. They say it has nothing to do with politics. It's just that they can't accept a petition that was written on a crumpled up Funyuns bag.”

House White Accepting Written Bags White House Marijuana Rejected Petitions Legalizing Marijuana

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.”

People Believe I Can

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“L.A., its nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.”

People Thinking Sleep Cities Nice New York Eating Sunshine Squares Broadway Nighttime Sushi Never Sleep Nightlife Times Square

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.”

Horse Liars Radishes

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, 'Can we do it from New York?' There was just silence on the phone”

Jobs Silence New York Phones Nbc

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Mike Huckabee said he's the only person who has fought the Clinton political machine and won. As opposed to Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders, who's the only person who fought a fax machine and lost.”

Persons Said Political Lost Machines Democratic Clinton Candidates Mike Fax Fax Machines

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Lincoln Chafee, former governor of Rhode Island, announced he's running for president. Before he announced he's running, his wife went on Facebook and asked his staff if they remembered his password. Because if a Facebook password is too hard to remember, the launch codes for the nukes should be a piece of cake.”

Ifs Should Hard Running Remember President Pieces Wife Former Code Remembered Islands Cake Governors Staff Passwords Nukes Rhode Island

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new poll, the number of Americans who trust Hillary is dropping. Specifically into a hole that Hillary covered with leaves.”

Numbers Holes Covered Polls Dropping

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Officials from the soccer organization FIFA, which decides which cities get to host the World Cup, are accused of accepting bribes when making their decision. Of course the toughest part for the soccer officials was taking bribes without using their hands.”

World Hands Courses Decision Cities Accepting Organization Cups Soccer Officials Host Accused World Cup Bribe Fifa

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.”

Ifs Knows Said Brain Ice Interviews Cream Flavor Ice Cream Freeze Cain Rocky Road

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.”

Today Remember Simple

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.”

Bigs Lasts Night Guy Turns Republican News Smart Debate Texas Governors Last Night Big News

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.”

Knows Looks Mean Littles Remember Tomorrow Jokes

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I got my shot at the movies. I love doing standup live. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to try movies, so I gave it a shot. I had two shots and I didn't really do it. That wasn't really happening for me. On the second movie I got to meet the girl that would be my wife. So I got to hang out with her and get engaged, and get the whole wedding thing. It was really great.”

Knows Trying Two Whole Would Be Wanted Girl Wife Happenings Shots My Wife Engaged Hanging Out Really Great

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“We're into tech stuff, gadgets, phones, video games. We'll treat a video game premiere like a movie premiere. I'm just going to be honest with what I like and what I do. What I enjoy. We're not going to hide the fact that people are on the Internet all day. I think a lot of shows don't really mention that.”

People Thinking Facts Shows Games Stuff Enjoy Honest Internet Treats Phones Video Being Honest Gadgets Premieres

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Most kids come home from school. They don't go to their TVs first. They go to the Internet. They check their emails, or some blogs, or some sites. Then they go watch TV. Other people are at work all day 9-5 in front of a computer. They see certain clips. We're not going to hide the fact that people use the Internet. We're going to try to be as interactive as possible with our fans. I'm currently on Twitter and Facebook and Flicker and Dig. I'm on all that stuff.”

People Trying Firsts Facts Use Home Kids School Certain Stuff Watches Fans Fronts Tvs Internet Computer Checks Coming Home Site Email Blogs Clip Flicker Interactive Twitter And Facebook

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.”

People Want Giving Bed Jokes Honestly Awake

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!”

“L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded on tape making racist comments. He now has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling wanted to end up - the blacklist.”

Has Beens Ends Wanted Comedy Policy Ethics League Owners Racist Comment Tape Civility Banned Wordplay Funny Basketball Sterling

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Director Ken Burns revealed that his next documentary is about Franklin Roosevelt, and it's fourteen hours long...which sounds like too much, until you realize there's been over thirty hours of TV dedicated to Honey Boo Boo.”

Long Reality Next Politics Sound Realizing Community Hours History Comedy Too Much Tvs Directors Thirty Honey Dedicated Documentaries Franklin Fourteen Boo Boo Honey Boo Boo

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'”

Said Running President Company Worry Dog Car Fine Yesterday Over You

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked.”

Thinking Should Doe Today President Crazy Minutes Mets Meetings Oil Call Me More Time President Obama Ceo Spills Oil Spill Call Me Crazy

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks.”

Littles Bits Little Bit News Oil Ducks Coast Good News Catching Bad News Gallons Catching Up Coast Guard

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“BP wants Twitter to shut down a fake BP account that is mocking the oil company. In response, Twitter wants BP to shut down the oil leak that's ruining the ocean.”

Want Company Ocean Accounts Response Oil Fake Leaks Oil Companies Oil Spill

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A new poll found that 43 percent of Americans think President Obama is doing a good job at handling the BP oil spill. Of course, the same poll found that 43 percent of Americans hate pelicans.”

Thinking Jobs Hate Courses Found President Percent Oil President Obama Good Job Polls Spills Oil Spill Pelicans

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I didn't invent the rainy day. I just own the best umbrella.”

Rainy Umbrella Rainy Day

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton said that Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is engaged in 'theater.' Which explains the new strategy to defeat him: casting him as the lead in 'Spider-Man: the Musical.'”

Men Said Leader Theater Strategy Clinton Musical Defeat Engaged Casting Spiders Lead In Spider Man

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Shepard Fairey, the street artist responsible for President Obama's 'Hope' poster, is now facing vandalism charges in Detroit. It's pretty serious. Detroit officials say the artist's spray paint caused over $9,000 worth of improvements.”

Artist President Streets Serious Responsible Paint Improvement Officials President Obama Detroit Posters Spray Vandalism Spray Paint

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer.”

Trying Firsts States Company Officials Marijuana Stop Trying Inhale Stoners Lining Up Legalizing Marijuana

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, 'That's great! Wait, WHAT?'”

Said Today Waiting Deals Limits Program Nuclear Russia Iran Uranium

Author:Jimmy Fallon

About the Author

Born: September 19, 1974
Known for: Television host
Quotes: 398

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