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Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes

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Famous Mark Twain Quotes

“...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'”

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Book:What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings
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“I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.”

MenBelieveHumansMatterCultureFatherI BelieveInterestLinesHuman BeingsOpinionParticularHighestTrainingDisappointmentImprovementFoolishHeavenlyDisappointedMonkeysHeavenly FatherValuelessTraining And Experience
Book:Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 2: The Complete and Authoritative Edition
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“I do not see how astronomers can help feeling exquisitely insignificant, for every new page of the Book of the Heavens they open reveals to them more and more that the world we are so proud of is to the universe of careening globes as is one mosquito to the winged and hoofed flocks and herds that darken the air and populate the plains and forests of all the earth. If you killed the mosquito would it be missed? Verily, What is Man, that he should be considered of God?”

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Author:Mark Twain
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“The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.”

IfsMenYearsMeanMadeHandsEarthTogetherThreeAnimalEnvironmentFourCircumstancesCapableFunctionAddAverageSillyAssPerceiveSuperstitionsObservingAverage ManSecond Hand
Book:In defense of Harriet Shelley
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“Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.”

MenMadeSaidBloodCrimeHe ManDespairAskingResponsibleBonesCriminalsFleshCommitInnocentRanConsentRobbing
Book:The Devil's Race-track: Mark Twain's Great Dark Writings : the Best from Which was the Dream? and Fables of Man
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“The best minds will tell you that when a man has begotten a child he is morally bound to tenderly care for it, protect it from hurt, shield it from disease, clothe it, feed it, bear with its waywardness, lay no hand upon it save in kindness and for its own good, and never in any case inflict upon it a wanton cruelty. God's treatment of his earthly children, every day and every night, is the exact opposite of all that, yet those best minds warmly justify these crimes, condone them, excuse them, and indignantly refuse to regard them as crimes at all, when he commits them.”

MenMindChildrenHandsCareNightHurtKindnessCasesCrimeBearsProtectDiseaseOppositesRegardLaysBoundsRefuseExcuseCommitCrueltyTreatmentJustifyEvery NightShieldsWanton
Book:MARK TWAIN: 12 Novels, 195 Short Stories, Autobiography, 10 Travel Books, 160+ Essays & Speeches (Illustrated): Including Letters & Biographies – The Complete Works of Mark Twain: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Innocents Abroad, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Life on the Mississippi…
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“A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results.”

PeopleKnowsMenWritingTryingMindTwoIdeasFactsStoriesBornInterestingResultsNovelClearIncidentsPlungeNovel WritingTroublesomeLocality
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays
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“... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men; depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians; gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.”

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Author:Mark Twain
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“So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays. What you do today is important, because you are sacrificing a day of your life for it. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

MenImportantReasonUseTodayLanguageCan DoBoysSacrificeTiredHarmLazyEndeavorLazinessExhaustedEssaysVesselAcidVery SadMorose
Author:Mark Twain
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“Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.”

MenShouldHumansPersonsPhilosophyWholeBornMy OwnRaceMillionsDetailsEvery ManHuman RaceLacking
Book:What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings
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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

MenSelfHuman NatureSelf EsteemIdentityAcceptanceInspirational LifeConfidenceSelf LoveIntegrityComfortableSelf ConfidenceEsteemHypocrisySelf AcceptanceGood LifeApprovalHave ConfidenceRespect YourselfSelf Esteem And ConfidenceBoost Your ConfidenceConfidence BuildingIntegrity And CharacterIntegrity CharacterHonor And IntegrityJust Love YourselfBuilding ConfidenceConfidence And LoveInspiring Self EsteemLove My SelfMan Of IntegrityLove And AcceptanceConfidence LoveBuilding Self ConfidenceLove AcceptanceSelf Respect In LoveAccepting LoveLost ConfidenceSelf Respect And LoveSelf Confidence BuildingSelf Esteem BuildingBuilding Self EsteemSelf ApprovalHealthy Self Esteem
Book:Mark Twain's Essays: Top Essays
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