Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

“The kind of spirituality I value is one in which you get great joy out of contributing to life, not just sitting and meditating, although meditation is certainly valuable. But from meditation, from the resulting consciousness, I would like to see people in action creating the world they want to live in.”

Source: Practical Spirituality: The Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication

“When people hear needs, it provokes compassion.”

People Needs Compassion Provoking Defensiveness

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing.”

Persons Feelings Bigs Energy Waiting Alive Imagine Ready Empathy Just Being Surfing No Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.”

Giving Happiness Support Violence Communication Grieving Compassionate Receiving Nonviolent Communication Giving And Receiving

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.”

People Needs May Feelings Problem Might Opportunity Interest Powerful Attention Messages Empathy Solutions Genuine Impression Related Relief Allowing Initials Request Iceberg

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.”

Ifs Self Desire Chance Attention Offers Empathy Flow Stem Interiors Maintaining Request

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“What evidence is there that we've adequately empathized with the other person? First, when an individual realizes that everything going on within has received full empathic understanding, they will experience a sense of relief. We can become aware of this phenomenon by noticing a corresponding release of tension in our own body.”

Firsts Persons Body Individual Understanding Realizing Empathy Evidence Release Tension Relief Phenomenon Noticing Corresponding

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“A second even more obvious sign is that the person will stop talking. If we are uncertain as to whether we have stayed long enough in the process, we can always ask, "Is there more that you wanted to say"?”

Ifs Persons Long Enough Wanted Asks Process Talking Empathy Obvious Uncertain

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.”

Needs Giving Empathy Breathe Scream Take Time

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy.”

Self Judgment Empathy Translate

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.”

Needs Mean Self Feelings Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know how to ask for it.”

People Knows Culture Asks Know How Empathy Hungry Commodity

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.”

Trying Has Beens Use Language Consciousness Known Conditions Century Communication Perspective Skills Empathy Communication Skills Integrated Languages Communication Use Of Power

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“We need empathy to give empathy.”

Needs Giving Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“In empathy, you don't speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with your body. If you say any words at all, it's because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection with what's alive in you.”

Ifs Feels May Persons Body Eye Speak Alive Empathy Connections Your Body Not Sure

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.”

Pain Felt Sides Listening Empathy Understood Depth Injured

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.”

Understanding Intellectual Empathy Block

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“We need to receive empathy to give empathy.”

Needs Giving Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.”

Lying Ability Opinion Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.”

Giving Persons Pain Enjoy Ability Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.”

Feels Party Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.”

Numbers Empathy Training

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.”

May Difficult Empathy Closest

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.”

Protect Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.”

Understanding Empathy Respectful

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new way and move forward.”

World Way Moving Empathy Moving Forward Perceive Our World New Ways

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.”

Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.”

Empathy Direct

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.”

Empathy Resources Harder

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.”

Needs Goal Quality Mets Empathy Connections

Book:Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

Source: Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

“To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.”

Needs Feelings Able Empathy

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.”

Thinking Results Empathy Solutions Connections

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.”

Giving Feelings Strong Advice Position Empathy Urges Offering Reassurance

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.”

People Pain Effects Empathy Contact Psychological Sufficient Psychological Pain

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.”

Ifs Needs Persons My Own Mets Behavior Empathy Harmony

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.”

Ifs Way Want Needs Giving Firsts Persons I Can Feelings Understanding Empathy Best Way

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.”

Needs Helping Feelings Ability Communication Messages Empathy Negative Internals Translate

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.”

Needs Helping Feelings Ability Silence Violence Offers Conversation Empathy Vulnerable Rejection Revive Lifeless

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.”

Wells Children Creative Empathy Relate Humankind Be Creative Flexible Enriching

Book:Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

Source: Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.”

“In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.”

“To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?”

Knows Mean Persons Moments Feelings Past Psychology Alive Empathy Harder Boards Diagnosis Past Experiences

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off the board. You're into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that's here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it's like I wasn't there. I call this "watching the magic show". In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my "fix-it" tendencies.”

Ifs Thinking Feels Persons Shows Next Energy Magic Right Now Empathy Connected Technique Heal Tendencies Boards Staying Just Being Feel Better Magic Show

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.”

“The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being: The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.”

Mind Whole Spirit Understanding One Thing Heard Listening Demand Empathy Understood Direct Empty Ears Philosopher Hearing Chinese Emptiness Faculty Chinese Philosopher

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”

People Inspirational Giving Humans Human Beings Empathy Just Listen Power Of Now Your Presence Precious Gifts

Book:Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

Source: Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

“If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.”

Ifs Giving Persons Happens Choices Energy Natural Failing Couple Empathy Release Seconds

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“A respectful understanding of another's experience.”

Understanding Empathy Respectful

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.”

Needs Persons Feelings Humanity Common Nonviolence Nonviolent Communication Common Humanity

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'.”

Communication Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

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