Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

“I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.”

Thinking Way Long Facts Problem Running Communication Consequence Rewards Long Runs Nonviolent Communication Backfire

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.”

People Communication Interpretation Nonviolent Communication Reacting Evaluation

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.”

Self Use Shows Grows Process Mistake Communication Judgment Caught Mourning Making Mistakes Caught Up Nonviolent Communication We Make Mistakes Self Forgiveness

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“NVC is interested in learning that is motivated by reverence for life, by a desire to learn skills, to contribute better to our own well-being and the well-being of others.”

Wells Desire Communication Skills Well Being Motivated Reverence Nonviolent Communication Reverence For Life Desire To Learn

Book:Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

Source: Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

“Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.”

Understanding Compassion Violence Communication Shame Guilt Punishment Motivated Reverence Nonviolent Communication Reverence For Life

Book:Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

Source: Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding

“If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?”

Ifs Want Firsts Persons Two Reason Asks Communication Punishment Request Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.”

People Way Communication Communicate Zero Probability Diagnosis Nonviolent Communication Labeling

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.”

Believe Able Energy I Believe Practice Communication Critical My Time Slow Down Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.”

Thinking Persons Teach Communication Training Deficit Psychoanalysis Nonviolent Communication Clinicals

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.”

Ifs Needs Two Reason Numbers Clear Communication Mets Judgment Request Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing.”

Has Beens Stories Spirituality Communication Educated Gang Liberated Nonviolent Communication

Book:The Heart of Social Change: How to Make a Difference in Your World

Source: The Heart of Social Change: How to Make a Difference in Your World

“Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.”

Sometimes Form Expression Communication Behavior Judgment Appreciation Compliment Celebration Conventional Manipulate Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.”

Thinking Needs Writing Children Important Might Together Reading Communication Skills Math Find Me Nonviolent Communication Reading Writing

Book:Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

Source: Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

“Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that support the development of autonomy and interdependence in the classroom.”

Way School Language Parent Support Environment Teacher Communication Development Skills Classroom Autonomy Nonviolent Communication Interdependence Administrators Enriching Languages Communication Learning Environment

Book:Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

Source: Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

“NVC can be effectively applied at all levels of communication and in diverse situations: intimate relationships, families, schools, organizations and institutions, therapy and counseling, diplomatic and business negotiations, disputes and conflicts of any nature.”

School Levels Situation Communication Conflict Organization Institutions Therapy Intimate Diverse Negotiation Disputes Nonviolent Communication Diplomatic Counseling Intimate Relationships

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.”

Ifs Knows Needs Firsts Two Real Reason Use Stuff Forget Know How Clear Communication Mets Appreciate Being Real Vague Request Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.”

Wells Light Faces Communication Judgment Criticism Intention Patterns Violent Reactions Resistance Perceive Attacking Nonviolent Communication Defensiveness Withdrawing

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.”

People Stills Use Political Used Levels Greater Communication Conflict Depth Arena Disputes Nonviolent Communication Personal Relationships

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.”

Knows Needs Humans Moments Problem Human Beings Levels Planets Communication Conflict Strategy Meetings That Moment Our Planet Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.”

People Want Needs Important Self Use Energy Sound Clear Communication Criticism Defense Addresses Interpretation Self Defense Nonviolent Communication Evaluation

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.”

“Public education for some time has been heavily focused on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students. Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the relationship between teachers and students, the relationships of students with one another, and the relationships of students to what they are learning are equally important in preparing students for the future.”

Believe Has Beens Important Teacher Students Communication Focused Helpful Preparing Premises Nonviolent Communication Public Education Enriching Teacher And Student Student Life

Book:Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

Source: Life-enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships

“Conflicts, even of long standing duration, can be resolved if we can just keep the flow of communication going in which people come out of their heads and stop criticizing and analyzing each other, and instead get in touch with their needs, and hear the needs of others, and realize the interdependence that we all have in relation to each other. We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.”

“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.”

Needs Anger Core Fulfilled Nonviolent Communication Anger And Pain

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.”

Needs Humans Feelings Slave Contact Nonviolent Communication

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs.”

Needs Form Violence Expression Tragic Unmet Needs

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.”

Ifs Want Heart Use Speak Conscious Compassionate

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.”

Giving Writing Children Advice Our Children Your Children

Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg

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