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Attachment Quotes

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Attachment Quotes

“Attachment. A secure attachment is the ability to bond; to develop a secure and safe base; an unbreakable or perceivable inability to shatter to bond between primary parental caregiver(s) and child; a quest for familiarity; an unspoken language and knowledge that a caregiver will be a permanent fixture.”

TraumaAttachmentPtsdChildhood TraumaBondsCapella UniversityParental BondReactive Attachment Disorder
Book:The Effects of Childhood Trauma on Adult Perception and Worldview
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“Teaching English is (as professorial jobs go) unusually labor-intensive and draining. To do it well, you have to spend a lot of time coaching students individually on their writing and thinking. Strangely enough, I still had a lot of energy for this student-oriented part of the job. Rather, it was _books_ that no longer interested me, drama and fiction in particular. It was as though a priest, in midcareer, had come to doubt the reality of transubstantiation. I could still engage with poems and expository prose, but most fiction seemed the product of extremities I no longer wished to visit. So many years of Zen training had reiterated, 'Don't get lost in the drama of life,' and here I had to stand around in a classroom defending Oedipus.”

SpiritualityFictionTeachingAttachment
Book:The Barn at the End of the World: The Apprenticeship of a Quaker, Buddhist Shepherd
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“What we are mistaking for a voluntary attraction of animals to humans can be explained by the “imprint phenomenon.” This biological process, first described by Konrad Lorenz, is responsible for the fact that animals, including humans, learn species-specific information, behaviours, and skills at specific points in their development. Imprinting is how animals learn early to attach to their mothers and identify with members of their own species. It is the mechanism that allows us to domesticate animals and nurture intimate relationships with them; as long as we integrate or selves into young animals’ lives before the attachment period ends, we can divert their identification with their own families and species onto ourselves.”

AttachmentAnimalsHuman Animal RelationshipsImprintingEthologyPet OwnershipSpecies Relations
Book:Un vétérinaire en colère - Essai sur la condition animale
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“When a pet is adopted within its imprint period, the attachment it felt to its mother is quickly transferred to the new owner, who steps in to meet the pet’s physical and emotional demands. Herein lies the reason pets become so instantly bonded to us. The process may seem harmless on the surface, even natural, but keep in mind that the normal progression of things would have the young animal soon beginning to detach from its parent. Whereas the animal’s mother would discourage continued dependence, the surrogate mother, the new owner, encourages it. In this way, the case of usurped identity is never followed by detachment. Quite the contrary: the whole dynamic of interactions between people and their pets relies on the maintenance of the bond. Because of this, pets remain infantile, never reaching any level of autonomy or emotional maturity.”

AttachmentAnimalsDependencyHuman Animal RelationshipsImprintingEthologyPet OwnershipSpecies Relations
Book:Un vétérinaire en colère - Essai sur la condition animale
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“SELFHOOD AND DISSOCIATION The patient with DID or dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) has used their capacity to psychologically remove themselves from repetitive and inescapable traumas in order to survive that which could easily lead to suicide or psychosis, and in order to eke some growth in what is an unsafe, frequently contradictory and emotionally barren environment. For a child dependent on a caregiver who also abuses her, the only way to maintain the attachment is to block information about the abuse from the mental mechanisms that control attachment and attachment behaviour.10 Thus, childhood abuse is more likely to be forgotten or otherwise made inaccessible if the abuse is perpetuated by a parent or other trusted caregiver. In the dissociative individual, ‘there is no uniting self which can remember to forget’. Rather than use repression to avoid traumatizing memories, he/she resorts to alterations in the self ‘as a central and coherent organization of experience. . . DID involves not just an alteration in content but, crucially, a change in the very structure of consciousness and the self’ (p. 187).29 There may be multiple representations of the self and of others. Middleton, Warwick. "Owning the past, claiming the present: perspectives on the treatment of dissociative patients." Australasian Psychiatry 13.1 (2005): 40-49.”

PsychologyIdentityPersonalityAbuseSuicidePsychologicalControlAttachmentChild AbusePsychiatryDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMpdDdnosTraumas
Author:Warwick Middleton
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“It was told to me, it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects, and told me, as I thought, with triumph. This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested; and it has not been only once; I have had her hopes and exultations to listen to again and again. I have known myself to be divided from Edward forever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. I have had to content against the unkindness of his sister and the insolence of his mother, and have suffered the punishment of an attachment without enjoying its advantages. And all this has been going on at the time when, as you too well know, it has not been my only unhappiness. If you can think me capable of ever feeling, surely you may suppose that I have suffered now.”

LoveSufferingRelationshipsAttachmentEngagement
Book:Sense and Sensibility
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“One of the antidotes to emotional afflictions is meditation on emptiness. As we deepen our experience of emptiness, we get a powerful surge of emotion, which itself acts to counter the negative, or afflictive, emotions. We also find in Buddhist practice specific antidotes to specific problems. For example, we meditate on loving kindness to counter hatred and hostility, and on impermanence to counter strong attachment. In other words, the emotion of love is generated as an antidote to anger and the experience of impermanence as an antidote to attachment.”

BuddhismEnlightenmentAwakeningAttachmentImpermanenceThe Path Of The BodhisattvaMeditation On Emptiness
Book:Illuminating the Path to Enlightenment: A Commentary on Atisha Dipamkara Shrijnana's A Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment and Lama Je Tsong Khapa's Lines of Experience
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“An abusive relationship typically includes choices in partners who have histories of destructive and narcissistic behavior, and who commonly struggle with their own mental health or addictions, leaving you at risk for continuing a caregiver role. Abusive and trauma-bonded relationships are characterized by intense highs and lows, severe enmeshment, loss of identity, coercive control, and cycles of abuse and manipulation, followed by intermittent calm.”

RelationshipsRelationship QuotesAttachmentRelationship AdviceRelationships 101Narcissistic AbuseNarcissism ExpertAttachment TheoryAttachment Trauma
Author:Annie Tanasugarn
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“If you are more avoidantly attached, emotional intimacy is often seen as something you simultaneously want but fear. Many who are more avoidantly attached are drawn to the intensity and newness of the early stages of a relationship. Yet, they often start pumping the brakes when the relationship becomes more emotionally intimate.”

RelationshipsAttachmentRelationships QuotesNarcissistic AbuseNarcissism ExpertAvoidant AttachmentAttachment Theory
Book:The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Overcome the Push and Pull of Different Attachment Styles in Your Relationship and Build Lasting Connection
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“Attachment is our stronghold - it is the glue to the fabric of society. In fact, instead of trying to be less attached, we must be more attached. We must be attached, to not just the members of our own family, but to every single person on earth - to not just the neighbor who lives ten feet away from us, but also the neighbor who lives ten thousand miles away. Attachment is not the cause of our suffering, our selfishness is. Once you find freedom in giving, attachment will become your strength and not weakness.”

PsychologyBrainy QuotesSelfishnessPearls Of WisdomAttachmentInclusionNeuroscienceWorld Is FamilyOne Human RaceWorld Is My Family
Book:Mad About Humans: World Maker's Almanac
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“It is entirely possible that you will feel attachment to or aversion for certain sense objects. Give that up. When you feel attachment towards something attractive or aversion towards something repulsive, understand that to be your mind's delusion, nothing but a magical illusion.”

BuddhismEnlightenmentAwakeningAttachmentMayaAdvice From The Lotus BornMagical Illusion
Book:Advice from the Lotus-Born: A Collection of Padmasambhava's Advice to the Dakini Yeshe Tsogyal and Other Close Disciples
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