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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.”

People Needs Years Doe Saws Teacher Imagine Generations Couple Humorous Management Drinking Folks Glasses Experiments Teeth Grades Nails Coke Beverages Coca Cola Sixth Grade Old Car

Author:Dave Barry

“I was a Teletype operator in the army, so that's where I learned to type. One day, I went downstairs to see if I could still type - I hadn't done it for four or five years after the war. So I typed out a page and I showed it to my wife and she said, "Where did you get this?" I said I wrote it. "You wrote this?" It was something very funny. I went and wrote another page, another couple of pages, and by the time I was finished I had 13 little short stories, humorous short stories.”

Ifs Years Littles Said Stills War Done Stories Five Four Wife Type Couple One Day Pages Humorous Army My Wife Finished Five Years If I Could Short Story Operators

Author:Carl Reiner

“A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.”

Wife Couple Husband Humorous Blind Deaf Happy Couple

Author:John Florio

“My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

“Sometimes two people stay together for the sake of the kids - two kids who sat under a full moon and pledged to be forever true.”

“I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an actor.' A couple of weeks after I graduated college I called my mother up and said 'Can I borrow $200?' and she said 'Why don't you act like you've got $200.'”

Want Said School Funny Mother Actors My Own Acting Destiny Week College Like You Mom Couple Humorous Theatre

Author:Arsenio Hall

“My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're doing, as is evidenced by the fact that you're reading a very sloppy and poorly researched book.”

Children Book Ideas Facts Humor Kids Funny Young Reading Serious Baby Couple Humorous Sloppy Serious Business Young Couples

Book:Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home

Source: Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home