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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.”

Ifs Would Be Humanity Games Loss Interesting Students Football College Broken Arms Humorous Increase Legs Necks Faculty College Football Trustees

Author:H. L. Mencken

“The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.”

Found Games Humorous Cards Silver Fast Food Metallic

Author:Rich Hall

“So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.”

Littles Games Cutting Streets Bears Married Humorous Garden Died Rounds Pops Ran Apples Shops Boots Heels Pie Buttons Leafs Soap Cabbage Gunpowder Barbers Apple Pie

Author:Samuel Foote

“Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.”

Heart Ends Hands Would Be Funny Games Missing Kings Humorous Forgotten Clubs Graves Honour Diamond Justification Sigh Countenance Spades Aces

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“It's never just a game when you're winning.”

Humor Funny Games Winning Humorous Witty Sarcastic

Author:George Carlin

“I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one of my players said, 'Every time I hear that song I have a bad game.'”

Long Said Song Games Player Humorous Seasons Opening Anthem National Anthem Bad Games Opening Day

Author:Jim Leyland

“The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.”

World Play Funny Games Exercise Humorous Claims Liars Golfers Golf Game

Author:Tommy Bolt

“What doesn't kill you makes you smaller”

“They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.”

Earth Funny America Games Language Strong Humorous Baseball Accents Cricket National Language

Book:How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained

Source: How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained