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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“And dilettantism is a humorous way to survive. Everybody understands you for it and everybody hates you for it. And not everybody chooses to be a dilettante. Many choose cunning and brute force.”

Way Hate Force Humorous Hate You Cunning Brutes Brute Force Dilettantes

Author:Francesco Clemente

“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”

Stills Reality Hate Humorous I Hate Witty Funny Life Steak Best Place Funny Food Accepting Reality Hate Life

Author:Woody Allen

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.”

Happens Hate Dies Humorous I Hate Schedules Inconvenience

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.”

Men Persons Funny Hate Sound Music Humorous I Hate Angry Rap Bunch Melody Shouting Rap Music Angry Man

Book:Dave Barry Does Japan

Source: Dave Barry Does Japan

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”

Said Funny Hate Comedy Mets Humorous Mental Health Ridiculous Comedian Funny Inspirational Psychiatry Psychiatrist Hate Me Funny Comedian

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.”

Ifs Hate Justice Food Humorous Cooking Glad Culinary Spinach

Author:Clarence Darrow

“Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”

Love Reason Funny Hate Fans Love You Figures Humorous Reason Why Confused One Love Singer Songwriters Fashion Designer Admirer Hater

Author:Jeffree Star

“The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.”

Ifs Hard Humor Funny Hate Food Late Humorous Terrorist Flight Planes Meals Beaten Crowded Airline Passengers Noisy Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits