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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.”

Ifs Littles Funny Rooms Fire Fronts Son Arms Essentials Lows Humorous Constitution Lays Corners Warm Sat Brown Chairs Baskets Toasts Muffins

Book:Dombey and Son

Source: Dombey and Son

“"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."”

Ifs Wells Said Would Be Funny Mother Father Boys Son Humorous Aunt Well Said

Book:The Works of Charles Dickens

Source: The Works of Charles Dickens

“Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.”

“Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.”

Play Funny Purpose Father Written Son Humorous Available Farmers Hints Forks Norfolk

Book:The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous

Source: The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous

“I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.”

Source: The Pickwick Papers: The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club

“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.”

Thinking Men Funny Father Realizing Son Humorous Parenting Hilarious Father Son Funny Parenting

Author:Charles Wadsworth

“My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.”

Children Shows Humor Kids Funny Found Son Baby Humorous Empty My Son Fists Deficiency Nursery

Book:Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

Source: Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

“Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.”

Giving Made Funny America Father Wish Rich Son Humorous Nationalism Hardship

Author:Robert Frost

“Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.”

Children Leadership Animal Boys Son Humorous Parenting Little Boys My Boys New Baby Boy My Baby Boy

Author:Plato

“Matt Mason must be declared the poet laureate of the Midwest! No other native son celebrates the overlooked America, its unsung citizens (from the anonymous poets to the part-time English teachers), and its expansive indigenous landscape, as well as he does. Mason's poetry is humorous when he wants to be quirky, heartbreaking when he wants to be eloquent, and though he moves effortlessly into other moods and geographies, he always returns to his first and most enduring love (and to what he knows best)-his homeland.”