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Lol Quotes

“Mate.” He buries his face into my neck, and I tip my head to the side, shivering when he runs his lips over my throat. “Mine.” His words come out as a harsh growl that makes my pussy clench with need as the hard length of his cock presses against my ass. I can’t hold in my breathy moan. “Oh, bloody hell. Really?” I slide my gaze to Valen. He’s shaking his head. “Go to the car, at least. There are children. Now I have to start all over.”

ChildrenLolJellyMateReverse HaremBearPdaExasperatedGet A RoomYall Have An Audience
Book:Shadow Slayer
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“APOLLO: I don’t know but I’ve been told! CAMPERS: We don’t know but we’ve been told! APOLLO: The sun god’s got a bow of gold! CAMPERS: The sun god’s got a bow of gold! APOLLO: He’s the best shot in the land! CAMPERS: He’s the best shot in the land! APOLLO: Augh! [Apollo trips and lands on his backside] I’ve fallen in the sand! CAMPERS [jogging circles around him]: Augh! He’s fallen in the sand! APOLLO: I meant to do that, so don’t laugh! CAMPERS: He meant to do that, so don’t laugh! APOLLO [tries to get up but falls back again]: Ow! I hurt my godly calf! CAMPERS: Ow! He hurt his godly calf! APOLLO [glowering and starting to glow]: If you want to live another day… CAMPERS: If we want to live another day… APOLLO [radiating brighter]: STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY! CAMPERS: STOP—um… —Military cadence written, chanted, and abruptly ended by Apollo (Best. Scene. Ever. - P.J.)”

Percy JacksonApolloLol
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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“The closest I’ve come to sparks flying at my writing hangout was when an elderly man’s portable oxygen tubes fell off his face while he was reaching for a piece of pie. I bent over to pick them up for him, and when I attempted to hand them over, our fingers brushed, and I felt a gust of air blow right between my legs. The moment was ruined when I looked down to see that I had yanked the tubes out of the tank, and it was blowing fresh O2 right in my special place.”

HumorSparksLolHospital
Book:One Moment Please
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“Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand. Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed. Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence. "You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?" Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit. His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings." "Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!" "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing." Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert" ...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.”

HumourMaximumLolRideSnickersJames Patterson
Author:James Patterson
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“I’ll be all hugs and kisses. Especially because he’s wound so tight that if I hug him hard enough, a diamond will probably pop out of his ass. Then I’ll be rich and we can pay for that lawyer." "Your aunt Clara says she isn’t sure which is more disturbing: that image of diamonds popping out or of you collecting them despite knowing where they’ve been”

HumourAssEnemies To LoversLolDiamondsBail Money
Book:Jenny: The Hellfire Riders
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“I can . . . make your life . . . better.” Fuck, I hope she understands my meaning. “There are certain . . . things . . . I can help you with.” She blinks at me. “Why can’t you just speak normally?” She throws her hands up with an exasperated huff. “I thought you said there were no cameras here.” I give her a look. “Fuck off. I was trying to be mysterious.”

MysteriousMisunderstoodLolBruhGone Wrong
Book:Broken Phoenix
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“Maverick DeVille…whoever the fuck that is.” Dante’s eyes narrowed in recognition. “I recognize that name. His family owns a cheese business outside of Florence. It’s been in their family since the days of kings.” “My father wants me to marry a guy who smells like cheese?” I asked incredulously, not the least bit impressed with his family wealth. “If he made wine, then at least he would be somewhat useful. But cheese?”

BusinessHusbandCheeseMafiaLolBelittleMarryIncredulousArrange Marriage
Book:The Wolf and the Sheep
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“I killed her pets!” Vidrol exclaimed happily, while the others just stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. All of them except Helki, who just shook his head again. “Total psychopath,” he muttered. He raised his voice over the sound of Banshee screaming. “Could you maybe put that thing outside?” “He just died,” Vidrol defended. “Cut him some slack.” “He’s screaming because he hates you,” Helki corrected, following Vidrol outside. “Even more so now that you’ve killed him.”

MurderLolPetsBruhPigGoatPsychosAll Of Them
Book:A World of Lost Words
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“A letter from the great-grandson.” He shakes his head sadly. “Sweet boy, but I don’t know how he’s going to make it through school with that name. Eustace .” “Maybe he’ll go by a nickname,” I offer, but Ernie isn’t going for it. “What sort of nickname? Eu? Stace?” He folds the letter and gingerly sets it on the coffee table in front of him. “Ah, well. His mother says she labored with him for two and a half days, so he deserves it.”

LabourLolNicknamesBruhPoor BoyGreat GrandsonWeird Name
Book:Some Other Now
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“Glad to see word reached you. I forgot my phone and somehow throwing pebbles at random windows seemed like a losing strategy." "My roommate thinks I'm running drugs," said Dee flatly. "And that you're my dealer." James blinked. "At least she thought I looked enterprising." "She said you looked homeless." James straightened the sleeves of his orange leather jacket. "It's vintage”

FunnyConversationHomelessDrugsDemonsHeartsLolVintageBruh
Book:The Hearts We Sold
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“Are you still mad?” “Not as much,” I admit, glaring back toward the school. “She looked at your penis.” “So did the kids. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have shifted in front of them.” “She blushed.” I grind my teeth and fist my hands. “And?” “And?” I face him, my rage rising again. “That’s my penis!” He beams at me. “Say it again.” Narrowing my eyes, I poke his chest. “My. Penis.”

JealousLolJellyPenisBruhHer PenisPossessive Much
Book:Shadow Slayer
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“I'll tell Mom,” Creed says, clapping his hands together and beaming like an idiot. I blink in surprise and nod, a little proud of the boy. Yeah… that would probably work. Mom is all about true love and that bullshit. If Creed tells her Nox is keeping him from someone he believes he could have a future with, she would put her youngest son in his place so fast Nox wouldn't know what happened.”

MomLolSiblingsChildishBruh
Book:A Shadow of Betrayal
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“I always figured Gloria, but mentioning my guardian angel didn’t seem prudent, so I shrugged ignorance and yawned. “Sneezing works just as well, if not better.” “What?” The stupid belt would not unbuckle. “Yawning is adequate,” he said. “But when you get caught with a question you prefer not to answer, it is better to sneeze. Anyone who asked the question will usually say bless you in some form. The question is forgotten, and you move on unscathed.” “Okay. Ah-choo.” “Bless you. So where did the complex and ancient protection wards come from?” “You said that would work on anyone.” “I am not just anyone”

HotSmoothLolBruhConversations Worth HavingSneezeYawn
Book:Demons in Disguise
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“I didn't want to miss out on a chance to congratulate you on your bouncing baby boy.” Garrett’s eyes trailed over to Milo who stood tall with an arrogant smile on his face next to his father. “I’m not sure on the protocol over here, though, is it customary to celebrate bastards?” Garrett’s comment hit the mark just like he knew it would. The smile was wiped from Milo’s face, and he stalked right up to Garrett and threw a punch at his jaw.”

LolBurnHahaPlaying With FireParkerBastardMiloGarrettA Beautiful LieT E Sivec
Book:A Beautiful Lie
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“Remember our friend Mark?” Wylan winced. “Let’s say the mark is a tourist walking through the Barrel. He’s heard it’s a good place to get rolled, so he keeps patting his wallet, making sure it’s there, congratulating himself on just how alert and cautious he’s being. No fool he. Of course every time he pats his back pocket or the front of his coat, what is he doing? He’s telling every thief on the Stave exactly where he keeps his scrub.” “Saints,” grumbled Nina. “I’ve probably done that.” “Everyone does,” said Inej. Jesper lifted a brow. “Not everyone.” “That’s only because you never have anything in your wallet,” Nina shot back. “Mean.” “Factual.” “Facts are for the unimaginative,” Jesper said with a dismissive wave.”

DebateLolNina ZenikKaz BrekkerInej GhafaJesper Fahey
Book:Six of Crows
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