Quotessence
Home / Authors / Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker Quotes

Poet

Filter quotes by topic

AllIfsMenKnowsPeopleThinkingBookWritingLoveGivingShouldHeartHumorWorldMayTwoWayWomenFirstsArtFun

Famous Dorothy Parker Quotes

“[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.”

IfsMayHandsWaterIdealsCompanionSlipsDucksFatiguePipeDrainsRubberBathtubsRubber Ducks
Book:Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words
Create image

“They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.”

IfsThinkingShouldArtGamesNamesNiceAdviceDespiteNosesExpertsAcquaintanceThumbsInseparableDoubtfulDividendsParlorParlor Games
Book:Not So Deep as a Well
Create image

“You don’t want a general houseworker, do you? Or a traveling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job. Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don’t want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.”

IfsWantGivingShouldBookJobsFacesReadingLiteratureSpeakToo MuchCuttingMinutesCarQuietAppreciateTrialsFlatsCompanionMakersReviewsLibrarianTenseAssistantsRefinedUnemployedFluentPresent Tense
Book:A month of Saturdays: thirty-one famous pieces by
Create image

“Lady, lady, never start Conversation toward your heart; Keep your pretty words serene; Never murmur what you mean. Show yourself, by word and look, Swift and shallow as a brook. Be as cool and quick to go As a drop of April snow; Be as delicate and gay As a cherry flower in May. Lady, lady, never speak Of the tears that burn your cheek- She will never win him, whose Words had shown she feared to lose. Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.”

IfsFirstsLooksHeartMayMeanShowsKidsWinningSpeakWishLosesWiseTearsSeriousFlowerGayConversationLovelySnowBe YouDelicateCheeksShallowAprilMake You HappyBrooksSereneCherriesLadPretty WordsHappy KidYour Pretty
Author:Dorothy Parker
Create image

“Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all around. Your moods and ways they put a curse on; They'd make of you another person. They cannot let you go your gait; They influence and educate. They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.”

IfsMenWayWantTryingPersonsDifferentStarsSoundMorningInfluenceReturnSafeSickTiredMoodCurseSentimentsEducateHailLetting You GoGaitSafe And Sound
Book:Not So Deep as a Well
Create image

“I'll think about something else. I'll just sit quietly. If I could sit still. If I could sit still, maybe I could read. Oh, all the books are about people who love each other, truly and sweetly. What do they want to write about that for? Don't they know it isn't true? Don't they know it's a lie, it's a God-damned lie? What do they have to tell about that for, when they know how it hurts?”

PeopleIfsThinkingKnowsWantWritingStillsBookLyingHurtKnow HowIf I CouldIt HurtsLove Each Other
Book:Complete Stories
Create image

“God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that - everbody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rouchefoucauld took at it. He said that if nobody had ever learned to read, very few people would be in love. Good for you, La Rouchefoucauld; nice going, boy. I wish I’d never learned to read.”

PeopleIfsKnowsWorldYearsMindLooksHas BeensSaidWould BeReadingWishBoysNiceThis WorldMiseryBitterSwingsAll The Best
Author:Dorothy Parker
Create image

“Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.”

IfsFeelsCertainRealizingHurtPracticeGoneLeagueExpertsNonsenseUnnecessaryWretched
Book:Complete Stories
Create image

“How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”

PeopleIfsTryingMindI CanLightMightBeautifulRememberNightLostSleepProfoundListsDamnRepeatsTemplesQuotationsInsomniaGoing To SleepKnackDamn ThingsFunny SleepSleepinessBustingFunny SleepingNight Light
Book:Complete Stories
Create image

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

IfsHumorFunnyLove IsBlindCynicalValentineOne LoveValentine's DayFunny MarriageAnniversaryFunny LoveWedding AnniversaryLingerieLove Is BlindFunny Valentines DayValentine LoveValentines Day LoveRomantic Valentines DayFunny ValentineSt ValentineHappy Valentines Day FunnyValentine PhrasesValentines Day CardsSweet ValentineAnti ValentineFunny Single Valentines DayStupid QuestionsAnti Valentines DayHumorous LoveUltimate LoveBlind LoveCynical LoveFunny Anti Valentines DayShort Valentines DayHilarious LoveFunny Valentines Day CardSad Valentines DayShort ValentineUnique Valentines DayFunniest LoveFunny ThoughtsHumorous ValentineSweet Valentines DayFunny RomanticFebruary LoveSweet AnniversaryCute Funny Valentines DayDumb QuestionsFunny Wedding AnniversaryLove LineHumor LoveSilly LoveAnniversary Love
Author:Dorothy Parker
Create image