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P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

Satirist

P. J. O'Rourke, born on November 14, 1947, is a renowned satirical writer known for his humorous and satirical commentary on political and social issues. His distinctive writing style, characterized by wit and sharpness, has won him a wide readership.

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All People Ifs Funny Government World Thinking Political Knows Humorous America Humor Years Liberty Way Want Should Libertarian Needs Journalism Kind

Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

“Think of what big governments have gotten up to in this century : not one, but two world wars, the gulag, the holocaust, aerial bombing of civilian population centers, the Berlin Wall, nuclear explosions, the post office. A wicked individual might want these, but he wouldn't have the cash and connections to get them. A villainous corporation could afford them but has to market the products. The Vietnam draft would be a tough sell for even the most fiendish businessmen. "Get shot! Get killed! Get diseases from foreign women who despise you in their hearts!"”

“The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.”

People World Millions Safe Constitution Passionate Owners Length Quarters Prosperous Energetic Manuals Unruly Toyota

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anything might. 4. At red lights. 5. At green lights. 6. At all other times.”

World Light Might Circumstances Red Thirds Green Following Block Horns Transport Third World Red Lights Green Lights

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader

“If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.”

Ifs World Want Shows Funny Taken Humorous Financial Quitting Variety Japan Tailors

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell

“I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know.”

Knows World Way Life Humans Wells I Can Book Ends Use Body Running Can Do Answers Common Acting Nice Trouble Killing Including Cancer Common Sense Cells Being Nice Liver Glands Prostate

Author:P. J. O'Rourke