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P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

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Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

“This going on and on about how terrible a carbon-based economy is, these people are full of crap. They don't know what they're talking about. Their motives are not necessarily good just because they say they are being good. It's peace, love, and understanding. To which I can just say, "Shut up." Human liberty, rule of law, and free markets fix this stuff. It isn't necessary to go around being the Mia Farrow of the ecosphere.”

PeopleKnowsHumansI CanLawStuffUnderstandingTalkingLibertyEconomyTerribleBe GoodMotiveCrapShut UpCarbonFree MarketRule Of LawPeace LoveMia
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”

PeopleIfsShouldProblemCausesLibertyTroubleSocietyIgnoranceSourceDrugTestsAnd LoveFundamentalsDrinkingAddictionGreedIllStupidityLibertarianAlcoholAlcoholicsCocaineStupid PeopleDopeWar On DrugsDrugs And AlcoholDrinking AlcoholFunny AlcoholAlcohol DrinkingDrinking FunnyIgnorant PeopleStupidity And IgnoranceContrary To Popular BeliefLust For PowerPeople StupidityDon't Drink Alcohol
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
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“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

InspirationalGivingHumorGovernmentFunnyPoliticsMoneyLibertyBoysPowerCarKeysHistoricalCorruptionLibertarianCommunismSatireLibertarianismTeenageBureaucracyGoverningWhiskeyFreedom And LibertyFreedom LibertyLimited GovernmentDemocracies HaveWhiskyLimiting GovernmentLibertarian PartyEconomic FreedomLimited FreedomMoney And PowerGreat LibertarianFunny SarcasticFunny PoliticalGovernment BureaucracyLimiting FreedomGiving MoneyGreat PoliticalCorrupt GovernmentGovernment And PoliticsGovernment PoliticsPower GovernmentCorrupt PowerCar KeysPower And CorruptionPower CorruptionMoney In PoliticsKeys To The Kingdom
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”

FirstsGovernmentPoliticalPoliticsLibertyEconomicPoliticianWittyCorruptionLibertarianSellingLiberalismBuyingControlledIronicLegislationFunny InspirationalGoverningFreedom And LibertyFreedom LibertyProperty RightsLegislatorsFunny MoneyLimiting GovernmentEconomic FreedomLimited FreedomPolitical WillLimiting FreedomPoliticians And PoliticsBuying And SellingCorrupt GovernmentGovernment PoliticsFunny PoliticianPolitical CorruptionMoney In PoliticsConservative PoliticalControlling Things
Book:Parliament of Whores-Open Mark
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“There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as "caring" and "sensitive" because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. Well, who isn't? And a voter who takes pride in supporting such programs is telling us that he'll do good with his own money - if a gun is held to his head.”

PeopleIfsWantTryingWellsGovernmentLibertyVirtueWillingPridePoliticianGunProgramEconomicsCharityCaringLibertarianSensitiveVotersLibertarianismFreedom And LibertyFreedom LibertyCharitableAdvocatingCompulsoryGovernment ProgramsWilling To Try
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.”

IfsThinkingInspirationalHumorCarePoliticalWaitingLibertyCostEconomicsLibertarianCommunismHealth CareLiberalismExpensiveLibertarianismFreedom And LibertyFreedom LibertyLaissez FaireLibertarian PartyEconomic FreedomLimited FreedomGreat Libertarian
Book:Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut
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“It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.”

GovernmentEffortLibertyEconomicAmountWasteEconomicsLibertarianPlanningEnormousDelusionLibertarianismSlothGovernment SpendingInefficiencyGovernment Waste
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.”

InspirationalBelieveProblemTurnsIndividualResponsibilityLibertyFindingsDifficultyBlameLibertarianRemarkableFree WillDriversAnnoyingLibertarianismLicenseIndividual LibertyIndividual ResponsibilityAnnoying Things
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked at Congress can tell you. ... government practices deceptive advertising. And the merest glance at the federal budget is enough to convict the government of perjury, extortion, and fraud. ... in a nutshell: government should be against the law. Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.”

IfsKnowsNeedsShouldEnoughGovernmentWould BeLawPoliticalTermLibertyPracticeEconomicProductsLimitsEconomicsCongressSellingAdvertisingBudgetsIllegalJailIngredientsFraudGlancesDeceptiveConvictsTerm LimitsPerjuryExtortion
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year 2000 - to everyone who believes that wealth should be redistributed. And that message is clear and concise: Go to Hell.”

PeopleShouldYearsBelieveAmericaWealthLibertyHellClearEconomicMessagesEconomicsPresidentialObsessedCandidatesFairnessCommandmentsGo To HellPresidential CandidateAmerican PresidentConcise
Book:Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics
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“Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights - the "right" to education, the "right" to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery - hay and a barn for human cattle.”

PeopleHumansLibertyRightsEconomicGunEmpowermentEconomicsSlaveryListsWelfareExpandingHousingEmpoweredEntitlementCattleDependencyBarnsHayBosniaRations
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Collectivism doesn't work because it's based on a faulty economic premise. There is no such thing as a person's "fair share" of wealth. The gross national product is not a pizza that must be carefully divided because if I get too many slices, you have to eat the box. The economy is expandable and, in any practical sense, limitless.”

IfsPersonsWealthLibertyEconomyShareEconomicProductsFairsBoxesLibertarianPracticalsDividedLibertarianismGrossLimitlessPremisesPizzaCollectivismFair Share
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“We're told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground for millions of years. We're told cars should be replaced with mass transportation. But it's hard to reach the drive-through window at McDonald's from a speeding train. And we're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?”

WantShouldYearsKindHardDiesCausesCitiesLibertyMillionsStreetsCarMassHundredSittingYears AgoWindowHorseTrainCancerOilLibertarianNineLibertarianismPollutionReplacedEightyFeverTransportationMcdonaldsAnklesSpeedingCity StreetsOld CarTyphoid
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty - their power and privilege - to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by ... politicians.”

StatesRunningEarthPoliticalAsksIndividualLibertyMankindPlanetsPoliticianMassPrivilegeSurrenderMeritPossessingPlanet Earth
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available. Western civilization not only provides a bit of life, a pinch of liberty and the occasional pursuance of happiness, it's also the only thing that's ever tried to. Our civilization is the first in history to show even the slightest concern for average, undistinguished, none-too-commendable people like us.”

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Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are freed from drudgery, women from exploitation. Businesses can be started, homes built, communities formed, religions practiced, educations pursued. But liberals aren't very interested in such real and material freedoms. They have a more innocent - not to say toddlerlike - idea of freedom. Liberals want the freedom to put anything into their mouths, to say bad words and to expose their private parts in art museums.”

PeopleMenWorldWantArtIdeasRealHomeCommunityWealthLibertyPathHonestMaterialsMouthsBuiltInnocentMuseumsExploitationPursuedDrudgeryBad WordPrivate Parts
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
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“The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.”

BelieveKindForceResultsPartyHalfLibertyLandReadyHealthExerciseGunSafetyPopulationSeekingConspiracyDictatorshipNaziExhaustedGun ControlShoutingVigorousFreedom LibertyNoisyHealth FoodExercise And Health
Book:Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .
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