p-j-orourke Quotes About kind

“Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos.”

Want Humans Kind States Bigs Turns Rights Creatures Human Rights Careful Teeth Drunk Awful Department Sober American Politics Bucks Jimmy Redneck Carter Apparitions Landslides

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?”

Want Years Kind Dies Causes Cities Streets Car Years Ago Horse Cancer Libertarian Nine Pollution Eighty Fever Ankles City Streets Old Car Typhoid

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.”

Want Kind Important Remember Fun Loss Jokes Blame Shoes Legs Germany Minorities Iron Continents Remember When Captured Wwi

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People who wanted to do this kind of stuff could suddenly make $100,000 in Hollywood right out of college.”

People Kind Able Wanted Stuff Talent College Hollywood Ran 80s Steam

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“I like the fact that they still run substantive pieces. I'm not sure I like the pieces, but it's nice that they do that. Anyway, it was always sort of ridiculous, me having anything to do with the youth culture, but now that I'm in my 50s, it's extra-double-ridiculous. They were losing interest in me, and I was losing interest in them. When I went to renegotiate my contract at Rolling Stone, I kind of halfheartedly asked if I could do half the work for half the money, and they asked if I could do two-thirds of the work for half the money. I ran that by my agent, since he can do math.”

“[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book. All they do is reassure people of their basic opinions, and then they can continue to act like they've always acted. I'd say it's time to move on to something else, but I don't know what it would be.”

People Thinking Knows Kind Book Would Be Moving Reading Opinion Advice Positive Thinking Wave Conservative Commentators Power Of Positive Thinking Time To Move On

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“If you're doing a column, you kind of have to. Like in the back of Sports Illustrated, Rick Reilly has to find something to be mad about. It's not really the way I approach things.”

Ifs Way Kind Sports Approach Mad Columns Sports Illustrated

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.”

Kind Growth Comedy Economic Marxism Economic Systems Warts

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.”

Men World Way Kind Young Certain Influence Behavior Significant Behave Young Man Arab World

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.”

Ifs Kind Two Wife My Wife Fortunate Hitting Irish Family

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.”

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.”

“Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues."”

Should Kind Character Politics Nations Issues Divorce Statistics Pipe Dope Booze

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“We're told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground for millions of years. We're told cars should be replaced with mass transportation. But it's hard to reach the drive-through window at McDonald's from a speeding train. And we're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?”

“The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.”

Kind Important Shows Death Purpose Grief Opinion Dying Comfort Funeral Display Comforting Hearted Loving You Kind Hearted

Book:Modern manners

Source: Modern manners

“Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia had become just this kind of spa.”

Looks Kind Ends Dies Loss Imagine Program Weight Hot Looking Good Weight Loss Prospects Somalia Spas

Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

Source: All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

“There's a lot of debate on this subject - about what kind of car handles best. Some say a a front-engined car, some say a rear-engined car. I say a rented car. Nothing handles better than a rented car. You can go faster, turn corners sharper, and put the transmission into reverse while going forward at a higher rate of speed in a rented car than in any other kind.”

Kind Turns Subjects Car Fronts Higher Rate Corners Speed Debate Handle Faster Reverse Transmission

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been done already. Many many very intelligent people have applied themselves to crafting an agenda that people could grab ahold of. But the problem of course is that libertarianism isn't political. It is kind of anti-political. It wants to take a lot of things out of the political arena.”

People Ifs Thinking Want Kind Has Beens Done Problem Political Courses Easy Effects Intelligent Agendas Libertarianism Arena Anti Political

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“There is that kind of happiness. There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have.”

Kind Important Boring Love And Marriage Marriage And Family

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of power - out of the hands of ... members of a dangerous class -the class that knows what's good for us better than we do.”

Knows Kind Reason Hands Government Political Class Dangerous Members Smoking Smallest

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers. Judging by the paintings I saw, the Soviets were right the first time.”

Firsts Kind Art Funny Used Artist Saws Modern Painting Judging Humorous First Time Critics Russia Selling Soviet Critique Palette Modern Art Bulldozers Art Critic

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.”

Source: Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

Filter quotes by topic

Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes