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Dysfunctional Families Quotes

Browse 106 quotes about Dysfunctional Families.

Dysfunctional Families Quotes

“The key problem I encounter working with wounded, depressed, and unhappy people is a lack of connection…starting from a disconnection from themselves and then with others. This is why love often becomes so distorted and destructive. When people experience a disconnection from themselves, they feel it but do not realize the problem.”

LoveJoyChangeShameUnhappyRecoveryDepressedFamiliesDysfunctional FamiliesDysfunctionalDisconnectionChnageShame Recovery
Author:David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough
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“You did not invent these family habits. Your family is like mine, for thousands and thousands of years our families have embraced a dysfunctional lifestyle, passing these habits as gospel on to subsequent generations. This was not done out of malice, spite, or hate, but what they knew best. As ineffective as these habits are, you never stopped to consider another way of loving.”

LoveJoyShameRecoveryFamiliesDysfunctional FamiliesDysfunctionalAcceptence
Author:David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough
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“It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: “I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already rejected me, but if you knew how flawed I am, you would also reject me…and since this is all I have, I could not stand any more rejection. I am not worthy of someone understanding me so you will not get the chance...so I must judge, reject, attack, and/or find fault with you. I don’t accept me so how can I accept you?”

LoveSelf EsteemSelf HelpLove HurtsDysfunctionDysfunctional FamiliesAcceptenceDysfunctional Relationship
Author:David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough
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“Wracking sobs rip from the innermost chamber of my heart, and I give into them, allowing them to fully take over. Pain lances me on all sides, and I bury my head in my knees, giving in to the heartache. I cry for my parents. For my lost life. For the threat that Addison poses, scaring me in ways it shouldn’t. For a boy I can’t have and shouldn’t want. For the never-ending gut-wrenching hollow ache in my chest and the soul-crushing loneliness I feel.”

TragedyGrief And LossYoung Adult RomanceNew Adult RomanceDysfunctional FamiliesAngsty RomanceTeen Drama
Book:Finding Kyler
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“..[The] disclosure of the incest secret initiates a profound crisis for the family usually...the abuse has been going on for a number of years and has become an integral part of family life. Disclosure disrupts whatever fragile equilibrium has been maintained, jeopardizes the functioning of all family members, increases the likelihood of violent and desperate behavior, and places everyone, but particularly the daughter, at risk for retaliation.”

CrisisChild AbuseSexual AbuseSecrecyChild Sexual AbuseIncestDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeChild ProtectionFamily SecretsAt Risk YouthChild Protective Services
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“She was so upset about a blog that maybe a total of six people read yet had no compassion for her granddaughters who had suffered the physical and emotional pains of sexual abuse and whose lives were changed forever. The two cannot even be compared, yet when someone is in denial about what happened, they cannot perceive what is true. It seemed too hard for her to let her mind go there and believe her grandson could do such terrible things.”

FamilyDenialSexual AbuseRapeDisbeliefChild Sexual AbuseIncestRape CultureDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeTriggerVictim BlamingChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorLack Of EmpathyLack Of CompassionSpeak OutTrigger WarningLack Of SupportChild RapistPedophile Protectots
Book:Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness
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“It is acknowledged that father-daughter incest occurs on a large scale in the United States. Sexual abuse has now been included in child abuse legislation. A conservative estimate is that more than 1 million women have been sexually victimized by their fathers or other male relatives, but the true figure probably is much higher. Many victims still fear reporting incest, and families continued to collude to keep the situation secret. Issues of family privacy and autonomy remain troublesome even when incest is reported and must be resolved for treatment to be effective. " Mary de Chesnay J. Psychosoc. Nurs. Med. Health Sep. 22:9-16 Sept 1984 reprinted in Talbott's 1986 edition”

LawFearCrimeShamePrivacySecretsLegislationSexual AbuseSecrecyInterferenceChild Sexual AbuseIncestVictimsChildhood AbuseDysfunctional FamiliesBystandersChild RapeSociety ProblemChildhood Sexual AbuseMale DominanceCollusionAbusive FatherIgnoring IssuesPedophile ProtectorsAbusive FamilySexual Abuse Of A ChildUnacknowledgedCondoningDysfunctional MotherFather Daughter Incest
Book:Year Book of Psychiatry and Applied Mental Health (Volume 2008)
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“This toxic pattern within the broken family system will continue from one generation to the next, until one brave survivor finally ends the cycle of abuse. The dysfunction, bullying, and abuse didn’t start with you, but it most certainly can end with you.”

TraumaBullyingChild AbusePtsdSexual AbuseNarcissistHealing JourneyDysfunctional FamiliesIntergenerational TraumaAbusive Siblings
Book:Soul Rescue: How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse & Heal Trauma
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“What is that?” Addison inspects the food with a look of sheer revulsion on her face. You’d swear I just handed her a plate full of arsenic. “The Works Burger with fries and extra onions and cheese, exactly as you ordered.” I keep my voice level. She sends me a scathing look. “Do I look like I’d ever consume that amount of saturated fat?”

HumorContemporary RomanceYoung Adult RomanceTeen RomanceDysfunctional FamiliesBad BoysAngsty LoveTeen DramaDysfunctional Relationships
Book:Finding Kyler
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“Attitudes and ignorance” about (any type of) abuse can be passed down through the generations. It is important to our healing that we sort out the belief systems we adopt; belief systems that were taught to us and because they are so full of lies, they lead to all kinds of depressions, addictions and other struggles while we try to cope with the manifestations of the problems instead of the roots of the problems.”

DepressionAddictionBelief SystemsHealing InsightsDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesBelief SystemAbuse RecoveryFamily SecretsChild Abuse SurvivorsFamily SystemsAbusive FamiliesAddiction Recevoery
Author:Darlene Ouimet
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“Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and secrecy keep a child from talking to siblings about the abuse, even if all the children in a family are being sexually assaulted. In contrast, if a child is physically or emotionally abused, the abuse is likely to occur in front of the other children in the family, at least some of the time. The physical and emotional abuse becomes part of the family's explicit history. Sexual abuse does not.”

CrimeShameChild AbuseSexual AbuseSecrecyChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsIncestDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesRepressed MemoriesAbusive ParentsMemory Represssion
Book:Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
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“If I, as a child, claim that something awful has happened—that someone has done something terrible to me—and everyone around me acts as if nothing is the matter, then either I must be crazy, or all of them are. And when you’re a kid and your life depends on all these people, there is no choice: of course, I must be crazy.”

CrazyInsaneChild Sexual AbuseIncestHealing InsightsDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesAbuse SurvivesIndanityThinking You Are Crazy
Book:Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women
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“Society gives the image of sexual violators as weird, ugly, anti-social, alcoholics. Society gives the impression that violators kidnap children are out of their homes and take them to some wooded area and abandon them after the violation. Society gives the impression that everyone hates people who violate children. If all of these myths were true, healing would not be as challenging as it is. Half of our healing is about the actual abuse. The other half is about how survivors fit into society in the face of the myths that people hold in order to make themselves feel safe. The truth is that 80% of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members. Yet we rarely hear the word “incest”. The word is too ugly and the truth is too scary. Think about what would happen if we ran a campaign to end incest instead of childhood sexual abuse. The number one place that children should know they are safe is in their homes. As it stands, as long as violators keep sexual abuse within the family, the chances of repercussion by anyone is pretty low. Wives won’t leave violating husbands, mothers won’t kick their violating children out of the home, and violating grandparents still get invited to holiday dinners. It is time to start cleaning house. If we stop incest first, then we will strengthen our cause against all sexual abuse.”

HealingSocietyAbuseDenialViolationChild Sexual AbuseSurvivorsMythsIncestHealing InsightsSociety DenialDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeClean HouseHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbusePedophile ProtectorsPedophile Protector
Author:Rosenna Bakari
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“Incest does not occur in a vacuum... Needless to say, incest is not a function of a healthy home. It is important to note that it is not known how much of the traumatic stress reaction or emotional disturbance is caused by the sexual act of incest and how much is caused by the unhealthy, emotionally deprived, neglect-filled home environment that fosters incestuous activity.”

Child Sexual AbuseIncestDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesAbuse Survivor
Book:Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse
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“Thomas had a younger sister, Ester, who was a facsimile of the womanizer brother, who had behaviors that mirrored her brother’s treatment of women, for she treated men the same way, for the same reasons. The younger sister had raised her sons with a hurtful echo in their minds that said ‘men are no good’, and because they heard it so much from their mother’s mouth, I feared that they would one day believe it to be true.”

AbuseDysfunctionDysfunctional FamiliesGenerational Dysfunction
Book:Torn From the Inside Out
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“A family is a social system and if that system is dysfunctional, the ramifications for the children growing up within it are grave. In what is known as generational drug addiction, the adult children of drug addicts and alcoholics are quietly suffering all over the world. By the time the children have grown up, dysfunction has been deeply ingrained in mind, body and brain.”

Drug AddictionDysfunctional FamiliesChristopher DinesDrug Addiction RecoveryAdult Children Of AlcoholicsGenerational Dysfunction
Book:Drug Addiction Recovery: The Mindful Way
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“My sister only has one side of the story but she is sure that she knows the whole story because that is how the dysfunctional system works. We don’t question everyone or even consider that there may be another side to the story but instead automatically believe the one who has the most power in the relationship.”

Dysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesAbusive ParentsDysfunctional RelationshipAbusive ParentPower ImbalanceDrama Triangle
Author:Darlene Ouimet
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“My mother's mouth drops. 'Emmy...don't say those things Emmy. Remember, we don't talk about those things.' 'Yes Mom. I remember. That's why I'm here, looking like this.' An orderly knocks on the door and announces that visiting time is over. My mother and I look at each other awkwardly, and hug. 'I love you,' she says. 'I love you too, Mom.' 'You aren't telling them too much are you?' she asks, afraid. I sign. 'No Mommy, I'm not.' She's visibly relieved. She leaves the room. The orderley comes back and escorts me back into the main room. I just sit and laugh to myself." (after Emmy's suicide attempt) ~ The Finer Points of Becoming Machine”

LiesSuicideDenialSecretsEmotional AbuseAvoidanceDysfunctional FamiliesSuicide AttemptBad ParentingMental HospitalSuicdality
Author:Emily Andrews
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“What amounts to a plague of mental illness is now addressed as ‘normal’ rather than as an indication that there is something terrifyingly wrong with our culture. The fact that we no longer understand mental illness as a message – that is, as a nondeclarative communication of an imbalance that requires rectification – not only demonstrates the degree of our emotional illiteracy, but our failure to understand the principle of balance as the axis of all existence.”

BalanceMemoryMental IllnessImbalanceDysfunctionWestern CultureDysfunctional FamiliesDesensitizationNormalizationNeuroses
Book:Apple: Sex, Drugs, Motherhood and the Recovery of the Feminine
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“Often, her mate is the child of a narcissist, already indoctrinated to regard exploitation and disregard as love. Others lured by the narcissistic aura are those in whom healthy childhood exhibitionism has been repressed. . . . If the parent puts the child to shame for showing off, the need for attention gets repressed into the unconscious. Repression means that the need is not satisfied and continues to press for expression in the adult without her being aware of it. The repressed adult may select an exhibitionistic mate to achieve vicarious satisfaction.”

ShameNarcissismExploitationRepressionNarcissisticDysfunctional FamiliesExhibitionismNarcissistic MothersNarcissistic PersonalityRepressed EmotionsNarcissistic AbusersRevictimization
Book:Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
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“As I was growing up, no one in my family got their needs met through respectful negotiation and compromise. The only victories I had ever seen my mom achieve were small, and she had accomplished them through manipulation, which was one of the few techniques she had for surviving her relationship with my father. Later, after his death, manipulation had become a way of life for her. It became innate for me too, even though I wanted her to be more direct, and I hated it when she manipulated me.”

Emotional AbuseManipulativeDysfunctional FamiliesEmotional NeedsUnmet NeedsManipulative People
Book:The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“When faced with choosing between attributing their pain to “being crazy” and having had abusive parents, clients will choose “crazy” most of the time. Dora, a 38-year-old, was profoundly abused by multiple family perpetrators and has grappled with cutting and eating disordered behaviors for most of her life. She poignantly echoed this dilemma in her therapy: I hate it when we talk about my family as “dysfunctional” or “abusive.” Think about what you are asking me to accept—that my parents didn't love me, care about me, or protect me. If I have to choose between "being abused" or "being sick and crazy," it's less painful to see myself as nuts than to imagine my parents as evil.”

CuttingCrazyDenialTherapyNutsAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsAbusersDysfunctional FamiliesAbusive ParentsChild Abuse SurvivorsEating Disorder Causes
Book:Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician's Guide
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“Implicit [in the psychiatric literature] is a set of normative assumptions regarding the father's prerogatives and the mother's obligations within the family, The father, like the children, is presumed to be entitled to the mother's love, nurturance, and care. In fact, his dependent needs actually supersede those of the children, for if a mother falls to provide the accustomed intentions, it is taken for granted that some other female must be found to take her place. The oldest daughter is a frequent choice... The father's wish, indeed his right, to continue to receive female nurturance, whatever the circumstances, is accepted without question.”

FatherPrejudiceInjusticeBiasPatriarchyFatherhoodPsychiatryBiasedIncestDysfunctional FamiliesFathers And DaughtersAbusive MenAbusive FatherPsychiatric CommunityFather S Rights
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“Adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, and a remarkable creativity and insight. Deep within them - just beneath the wound - lies a profound spiritual vitality, a quiet knowing, a way of perceiving what is beautiful, right, and true. Since their early experiences were so dark and painful, they have spent much of their lives in search of the gentleness, love, and peace they have only imagined in the privacy of their own hearts.”

Dysfunctional FamiliesSensitive PeopleBroken FamiliesAdult Children Of Alcoholics
Book:Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantage of a Painful Childhood
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“From the age of nine, I was on the streets. This came about because I was being rude with my parents and I was moving things without their permission, like money. So my stepfather didn’t like what I was doing and he didn’t like me, so he eventually put me out on the streets. My mother was always sick, and my father—I never met him. While I was on the streets, I used to sleep in old abandoned vehicles. Galen ‘Ninja’ Nordelus former leader of the Public Terrorist Rebellions through Milton Street”

StealingDysfunctional FamiliesAbsentee FathersDead Beat DadsOn The StreetsAt Risk ChildBeing Put OutFast HandsHome ConditionLight HandsStep FatherSticky FingersThe Making Of Gangsters
Book:The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father
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“Recovering from family scapegoating requires recognizing that being the ‘identified patient’ is symptomatic of generations of systemic dysfunction within one’s family, fueled by unrecognized anxiety and even trauma. In a certain sense, members of a dysfunctional family are participating in a ‘consensual trance‘, i.e., a ‘survival trance’ supported by false narratives, toxic shame, anxiety, and egoic defense mechanisms, such as denial and projection.”

ScapegoatDysfunctional FamiliesEmpathsTrauma SurvivorsChild Abuse SurvivorFamily ScapegoatScapegoat ChildNarcissistic FamiliesFamily RolesC Ptsd
Book:Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Understanding Family Scapegoating Abuse
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“Children who are scapegoated in families are in reality victims of abuse and neglect – Yet this is rarely recognized by those working in our Mental Health systems, Family Courts, or Educational systems. Because scapegoating processes can be subtle, many scapegoated adult survivors fail to realize that they have suffered from psycho-emotional abuse growing up, and even their therapist or counselor might miss the signs and symptoms associated with being in this most devastating dysfunctional family role.”

Child AbuseScapegoatDysfunctional FamiliesScapegoatingComplex TraumaFamily ScapegoatFamily Scapegoating AbuseNarcissistic Family Abuse
Book:Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Understanding Family Scapegoating Abuse
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“When I had been really little and the wind blew like mad at night, I had trouble sleeping. My father would come in and tell me that the house wasn't made of straw or sticks, that it was brick, and like the little pigs knew, nothing could tear it down. Here's what the little pigs didn't realize: the big bad wolf was only the start of their problems. The biggest threat was already inside the house with them, and couldn't be seen. Not radon gas or carbon monoxide, but just the way three very different personalities fit inside one small space. Tell me that the slacker pig - the one who only mustered up straw - really could get along with the high-maintenance bricklayer pig. I think not. I'll bet you if that fairy tale went on another ten pages, all three of those pigs would have been at each other's throats, and that brick house would have exploded after all.”

FamiliesDysfunctional FamiliesThree Little PigsJodi Picoult Handle Care
Book:Handle with Care
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