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Hair Quotes

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Hair Quotes

“On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me”

MindHeartHas BeensHandsMightFunnyYoungPowerfulTreeFlowerHairSummerBirdHumorousFemaleRootsBreathsCaughtEveningNecksTemplesCrownsElectricityPalmsPotatoesCongregationPurificationSmall MindsYoung At HeartBoilerSummer Evening
Book:Novels
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“People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"”

PeopleLongUseHumorFunnyMotherGuyFoundWishHairDrugDaughterLongingExcitedExtremesStrangerSmellCakeAssociatesThat GuyLong HairFlourDrug Use
Author:Mitch Hedberg
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“I have an oscillating fan at my house. It goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to! Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? LIAR! My fan lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you're not saying ANYTHING!”

LooksHumorFunnyOrderAsksHouseFansHairSettingSettingsLiarsDocumentsLiedPinsBack And ForthSaying NoLied To MePin Up
Author:Mitch Hedberg
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“He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better.”

IfsKnowsMenWayWritingFirstsFeelingsHumorHandsBigsFunnyBeliefEmotionTalkingMinutesDyingHairPeriodsFemaleBallsProfoundBad ThingsMaking UpLove For HerWriting PoemsPersonal BeliefsBig HairProfound Love
Author:Chelsea Handler
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“Most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.”

PeopleThinkingFeelsHumorFunnyMovingDiesSidesLosesHairCancerAbout YourselfDisagreeStrokesChemotherapyRemissionLife Sucks
Author:Denis Leary
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“Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"”

PeopleIfsMenLittlesCareFunnyTogetherHateBlackWhiteTalkingMillionsComedyCuttingHeardGroupsBrotherHairI HateJewDon't CareBunchHeyI Don't CareMarchBlack PeopleAvenuesDiceDon't HateCrackersHair CutBarbershop
Author:Chris Rock
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