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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

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Humor Quotes

“It is a curious fact, but a fact it is, that your witty people are the most hard-hearted in the world. The truth is, fancy destroys feeling. The quick eye to the ridiculous turns every thing to the absurd side; and the neat sentence, the lively allusion, and the odd simile, invest what they touch with something of their own buoyant nature. Humor is of the heart, and has its tears; but wit is of the head, and has only smiles - and the majority of those are bitter.”

PeopleWorldHeartHardFactsFeelingsHumorEyeTurnsSidesTearsTruth IsMajorityWittySentencesWitRidiculousAbsurdBitterCuriousOddFancySimileHeartedNeatLivelyAllusion
Book:The Complete Works of L. E. Landon: Containing Romance and Reality, Francesca Carrara, Traits and Trials of Early Life, Ethel Church, the Book of Beauty, Improvisatrice, the Troubadour, Venetian Bracelet, Golden Violet, Vow of the Peacock, Easter Gift, &c., &c
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“People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move your eyes down to where your nipples used to be, put your breasts up on your head, everybody will pay attention!”

PeopleIfsKnowsWantWellsHumorEyeFunnyMovingUsedPayAttentionObviousUsed To BePay AttentionBreastsWhy NotDepressingRoutesImplantsNipples
Author:Dylan Moran
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“I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'”

MenWellsHumorBigsEyeRunningFunnyNightChoicesCausesHurtDealsMiddleHugeBedBiggerPopsBedroomDaddyMiddle Of The NightBoogie
Author:Adam Ferrara
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“I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.”

PeopleImportantStoriesHumorLightEyeKidsFunnyUsedGuyJesusCausesHalfLaughingSawsRight NowOkayBlindHis EyesTrafficArmstrongHalf FullBracelet
Author:Daniel Tosh
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