Home / Topics / Humor Quotes

Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”

War Humor Political Terrorism Taliban War On Terror Crusades War On Terrorism

Book:The George W. Bush Foreign Policy Reader: Presidential Speeches and Commentary

Source: The George W. Bush Foreign Policy Reader: Presidential Speeches and Commentary

“I have no patience with anyone born after World War II. You have to explain everything to these people.”

People World War Humor Born Generations War Of The Worlds World War Ii World War I No Patience I Have No Patience

Author:Selma Diamond

“All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.”

World Two War Humor Funny War Of The Worlds Hostility World War Two

Author:Neil Simon

“Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.”

Men War Enough Humor Funny Brave Bikinis

Author:Rita Rudner

“You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well... we looked at the receipts."”

Knows Wells War Humor Funny Weapons Incredibles Iraq Reports Do You Know Persian Gulf War Receipts Persian Gulf

Author:Bill Hicks

“I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you!”

Two War Humor Funny Legs Shooting Call Me

Author:Chris Rock

“I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.”

Humans War Humor Funny Human Beings White Party Support Wonderful Republican Members Rational Inclusion Troops

Author:David Cross

“If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.”

Ifs War Humor Wanted Funny Four Pages Bored

Author:Lewis Black

“My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.”

World War Humor Funny Father Lines Communication Destroyed War Of The Worlds World War I Pigeons Lines Of Communication

Author:Frank Carson

“And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.”

Giving Firsts War Reason Humor Funny Remember Fighting Next Left Clubs Ads Next Time Just Do It

Author:Dennis Miller

“From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!”

Knows War Home Humor Funny Schooling Korean Korean War

Author:George Lopez

“Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.”

Thinking Way War Sometimes Humor Funny History Comedy Teaching Humour Army Comedian Geography Funny Relationship Funny Comedian Geography Teachers

Author:Paul Rodriguez