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Mom Quotes

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Mom Quotes

“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”

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Author:Buddy Hackett
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“She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'”

HumorCareFunnyMotherCausesParentNiceMomMonthsDadMadSorryNakedThings To DoGirlfriendMailMy GirlfriendNice ThingsFuriousMessed UpI Am So Sorry
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.”

PeopleYearsBelieveMadeHomeHumorFunnyWalksDealsWatchesHappenedMomCoupleTerribleYears AgoMy MomListsHolocaustInterventionRabbiHolocaust DeniersSchindlerSchindler's List
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

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Author:Theodore Hesburgh
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“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”

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Author:Sam Levenson
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“If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.”

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Book:All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist
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“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

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Author:Milton Berle
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