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George Burns Quotes

Comedian

George Burns was an American comedian, writer, and singer, born on January 20, 1896, and died on March 9, 1996. Known for his unique humor and longevity, he is one of the most famous comedians of the 20th century.

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Famous George Burns Quotes

“There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.”

Men Want Different Humor Funny Sex Battle Men And Women Gender Different Things Want Me Women Want

Author:George Burns

“Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”

Trying Sex Pool Thrill Rope Cigar

Author:George Burns

“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”

I Can Hard Humor Funny Remember Used Sex Air Clean Dirty Hard Times Cleaning Remember When Naughty

Author:George Burns

“Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!”

Fun Sex Lunch Ninety Eighty

Author:George Burns

“Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.”

Thinking Should Wells Important Funny Courses Sex Nice One Thing Fans Authority Humorous Let Me

Book:How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise book

Source: How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise book

“Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.”

Funny Speak Language Sex Humorous Universal Universal Language

Book:The Most of George Burns

Source: The Most of George Burns

“Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.”

Believe May Long Has Beens Funny Sex Long Time Humorous

Book:The Most of George Burns

Source: The Most of George Burns

About the Author

Born: January 20, 1896
Died: March 9, 1996
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 144

Books & Sources

Gracie/Caeser Spec EdRelated source material

The Most of George BurnsRelated source material

Wisdom of the 90sRelated source material

How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise bookRelated source material

Dear GeorgeRelated source material

Dr. Burns' prescription for happinessRelated source material

Living It UpRelated source material

All my best friendsRelated source material

Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to BRelated source material

Gracie: A Love StoryRelated source material

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