“People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes.” PeopleWellsLongI CanEnoughLastsDiesNextMinutesAsking Author:George Burns
“I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.” LittlesI CanHumorKidsAgeFunnyHumorousAmerican HistoryFunny Friend Author:George Burns
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” IfsI CanRememberTroubleDrinkDrinkingAlcoholCleverDrunkAlcoholismDrankLiquorDrunkennessCocktailsDrinking AlcoholFunny DrinkingDrunkardsBeer DrinkingDrinking BeerGreat DrinkingFunny AlcoholAlcohol DrinkingDrinking FunnyAlcohol AddictionAlcohol And LifeFunny Beer DrinkingGetting DrunkBars DrinkingLiquor FunnyCocktail DrinksShots DrinkingDon't Drink AlcoholBeing DrunkAlcoholism FunnyShort BeerShort DrinkingDrinking And Driving Author:George Burns
“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.” I CanHardHumorFunnyRememberUsedSexAirCleanDirtyHard TimesCleaningRemember WhenNaughty Author:George Burns
“I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.” I CanHumorFunnyDiesLosesToo Much Author:George Burns
“I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.” BelieveI CanDoneDiesBeliefDyingDon't BelieveExit Author:George Burns
“Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.” LoveMeanLongI CanAgeYoungForgetAudienceFrontsTwentiesAgingOld AgeVitalityGetting OldGrowing OldTwenty One Author:George Burns
“People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” PeopleWayShouldStillsI CanTwoHalfCitizensAskingAgingRetiringShould ISeniorTwo WaysSenior Citizen Author:George Burns
“I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had Cupid's eczema. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.” PeopleBelieveI CanDoneYoungDiesWorryDyingAgingDon't BelieveGetting OldExitCupidEczema Author:George Burns
“Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .” PeopleYearsMeanI CanFunnyRememberNamesHumorousYears AgoFiftyForgetful Author:George Burns
