Filter quotes by topic
Famous George Burns Quotes
“There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.”
“When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'”
“I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
“If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.”
“I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.”
“Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.”
“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”
“I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.”
“Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.”
“Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.”