“It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.”
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Famous Rita Rudner Quotes
“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.”
“I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.”
“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”
“I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.”
“I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.”
Source: Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature
Source: Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature
“A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.”