Home / Topics / Funny Jokes Quotes

Funny Jokes Quotes

Browse 66 quotes about Funny Jokes.

Related topics

Funny Jokes Quotes

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT”

Source: Fifth Grave Past the Light

“There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.”

Life Funny Death Humorous Clever Cures Comedian Reincarnation Rebirth Funny Jokes

Author:Jack E. Leonard

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!”

Men Inspirational Humor Care Funny Walks Judging Walking Shoes Witty Miles Comedian Who Cares Miles Away Not Caring Funny Jokes

Author:Billy Connolly

“Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'”

“The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest of these was dogs.”

Life Wisdom Three Hope Lord Dog Jokes Ultimate Three Things Bearable Dog Lover Funny Jokes Dog Best Friend

Author:Robyn Davidson

“That’s why you call it a budget. You set it and you don’t budge.”

Funny Actresses Finance Budgets Wordplay Funny Jokes Budgeting

Author:Jennifer Morrison

“I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg.”

Ifs Thinking I Can Funny Moral Wall Sitting Comedian Eggs Funny Jokes Humpty Dumpty

Author:Ricky Gervais

“Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.”

Kids Sports Parent Football England Fats Optimistic Soccer Comedian Supporter Humorists Funny Jokes Soccer Team Blind Optimism Fat Kid

Author:John Bishop

“I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I've now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes.”

Wanted Levels Jokes Accepted Conclusion Bitter Worried Load Funny Jokes

Author:Daniel Radcliffe

“I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.”

People Thinking Knows Shows House Jokes Fake Funny Jokes

Author:Thom Yorke

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

Humor Kids Funny Moving Found Parent Comedy Moved Parenting Comedian Pregnancy Parenthood Funny Inspirational Funny Parenting Being A Kid Funny Jokes Funny Kid

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.”

Ifs Men Funny Military He Man Humorous Army Soldier Retreat Inventor Funny Jokes

Book:Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist

Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist

“Anything that gets you to release the stress in your life and really laugh is worthwhile. It can heal the planet. It truly can, and it actually has.”

Earth Funny Healing Laughing Planets Laughter Stress Actresses Singers Heal Release Worthwhile Funny Jokes Heal The World

Author:Lucie Arnaz

“A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.”

Prison Criminals Prisoner Crash Vans Cement Hardened Wordplay Collide Funny Jokes

Author:Ronnie Corbett

“I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.”

Knows Trying Kind Persons Funny Spirit Jokes Racist Get Away Funny Jokes

Author:Daniel Tosh

“What doesn't kill you makes you smaller”