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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hooved rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.”

Years Persons Law Fall Realizing Attitude Mets Ocean Late Humorous Concepts Horse Notion Shoes Enormous Islands Camps Protected Site Rats Tents Camping Poop Wild Horses Atlantic Ocean

Author:Dave Barry

“My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.”

World Eye Care Girl Strong Wish My Own Forget Sweet Mets Laughter Humorous Gold Dear Rings His Eyes Flags Lit Chimes Forget Him Dear Love

Book:Not So Deep as a Well

Source: Not So Deep as a Well

“I've spent enough time with soldiers to know that once they get to know you and they loosen up and become themselves, they are some of the biggest hams and most charismatic, cocky, fun, humorous guys I've ever met.”

Knows Enough Guy Fun Mets Humorous Soldier Enough Time Cocky Ham Charismatic

Author:Peter Berg

“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”

Love Life Firsts Ideas Funny Names Mets Humorous Witty No Idea Hilarious Funny Relationship Mr Right

Author:Rita Rudner

“She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.”

Mind May Soul Whole Funny Pieces Mets Humorous Wounds Adore Delightful Frogs Entwined Odes

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.”

Ifs Knows Firsts May Important Feelings Funny Cases Mets Humorous Sight Witty Confused Love At First Sight Sinking Elevators Sinking Feeling

Author:Groucho Marx

“Dressing is a matter of taste, and I've met very few Republicans with good taste.”

Matter Political Politics Fashion Republican Taste Mets Humorous Democrat Dressings Good Taste

Author:Willie Brown

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”

Said Funny Hate Comedy Mets Humorous Mental Health Ridiculous Comedian Funny Inspirational Psychiatry Psychiatrist Hate Me Funny Comedian

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’”

Years Said Funny Lasts Money Plans Mets Six Humorous Asking Entrepreneur Investment Investing Financial Saved Planning Mentor Saving Money Financial Independence

Author:Jim Rohn