Best humorous & play Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of Camptown Races. Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to listen to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.”

Play Race Humorous International Tunes Anarchist Succession Anthem National Anthem Raspberries

Author:Mike Harding

“He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.”

Ifs Play Kings Humorous Aces

Author:John Mason Brown

“Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.”

Play Funny Purpose Father Written Son Humorous Available Farmers Hints Forks Norfolk

Book:The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous

Source: The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous

“When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk.”

Knows Play Humor Funny Know How Drink Humorous Wine Drinking Alcohol Drunk Sober Liquor Drinking Alcohol

Author:Richard Burton

“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.”

“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.”

Men Want Two Reason Philosophy Play Women Dangerous Danger Humorous Two Things Dangerous Things True Man Dangerous Man

Author:Friedrich Nietzsche

“Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you.”

Play Motivational Music Musician Humorous Jazz African American Composer Jazz Music Playing Music Saxophone Funny Music Playing Jazz

Author:Charlie Parker

“Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.”

Mind Humans Play Wisdom Humor Funny Brain Creativity Humour Activity Humorous Intelligence Significant Sense Of Humor Human Brain

Author:Edward de Bono

“Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.”

Play Eye Remember Women Justice Fire Humorous Witty Smoke Sarcastic

Book:The wit and wisdom of Mae West

Source: The wit and wisdom of Mae West

“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.”

Play Funny Music Humorous Gentleman Composer Singer Songwriters Funny Music Accordions Gentlemanly

Author:Tom Waits

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

Life Play Age Life Is Written Humorous Thirds Profound Insane Birthday Funny Life Birthdays And Aging Funny Old Age Birthday Youth And Old Age Age Of 40 Funny Birthday Witty Birthday Humorous Birthday

Author:Truman Capote

“I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football, and I have 20/20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.”

Giving Ideas Play Wanted Young Sports Vision Careers Feet Football Basketball Giving Up Six Humorous Pounds Tall American Football Sportsmanship Parameters Referee Funny Motivational

Author:Jay Leno

“The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.”

World Play Funny Games Exercise Humorous Claims Liars Golfers Golf Game

Author:Tommy Bolt

“Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.”

Thinking Children Play Humor Bigs Would Be Kids Funny Next Born Simple Deals Attitude Nice Baby Humorous Next Time Closets Big Deal My Attitude

Book:I'm Not Really Here

Source: I'm Not Really Here

“I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room”

Life Long Enough Play Funny Dies Rooms Flower Humorous Witty Dressings Dressing Rooms Plastic Flowers

Book:The Quality of Mercy

Source: The Quality of Mercy

“The ability to play the clarinet is the ability to overcome the imperfections of the instrument. There's no such thing as a perfect clarinet, never was and never will be.”

Play Funny Ability Perfect Music Humorous Overcoming Instruments Imperfection Clarinet

Author:Jack Brymer

“Though she doesn't remember any trauma, she said that her parents told her she cried on a daily basis and her grandmother resorted to passing out candy so the kids would play with her. Though it was a humorous moment, Mila said, "I know, God bless her. She's an amazing, amazing woman."”

Knows Said Play Moments Kids Remember Parent Humorous Bases Trauma Passing Passings Grandmother Bless Cried Candy Knowing God Grandma God Bless Amazing Woman Passing Out

Author:Mila Kunis

“I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.”

Way Littles Play Funny Sex Basketball Humorous Sexuality One On One

Author:Leslie Nielsen

“I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really require you to be necessarily, explicitly humorous, or silly.”

Ifs Play Serious Humorous Silly

Author:Jesse Eisenberg

“He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.”

Source: The Pictorial Edition of the Works of Shakspere: Comedies / ... Shakspere

Humorous Quotes

Related topics

Humorous Quotes