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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the world put together.”

World School Together Belief Religious Wonder Special College Humorous Enormous Usa Devoted Harvest Religious Belief Unorthodox

Author:Peter Medawar

“I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.”

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.”

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

Source: Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”

Firsts Religion Girl Religious Atheism Conflict Humorous Atheist Witty Agnostic Religious Conflict

Author:Woody Allen

“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.”

“I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.”

Men Mind Eye Religion Force Religious Degrees Perception Humorous

Book:Adventures of Tom Sawyer Companion

Source: Adventures of Tom Sawyer Companion

“If you want to give the devil a nervous breakdown, just get up every day and see how much good you can do.”

Source: Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions So They Don't Control You

“It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.”

“The only church that illuminates is a burning church.”

Funny Church Religious Humorous Burning Illumination Militant Anti Religion

Author:Buenaventura Durruti

“The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world.”

World Christian Funny Change Church Religious Humorous Spread Christian Inspirational Changing The World Neighborhood Stink Manure

Author:Luis Palau

“Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule.”

“The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.”

Source: Holy Spirit Are We Flammable or Fireproof?