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Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin Quotes

Comedian

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, writer, and actor known for his unique and witty humor style. He is recognized for his sharp wit and satirical commentary, often performing in television shows, movies, and stage performances. Born on May 25, 1973, Martin's career began in New York comedy clubs.

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All Ifs Funny Humor Thinking People Comedy Knows Want Way Looks Trying Said Sometimes Men I'm Sorry Guy Shows Feels Would Be I Can

Famous Demetri Martin Quotes

“For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.”

Way Feels Mind Littles Long Bits Growth Progress Possibility Little Bit Very Good Negativity

Author:Demetri Martin

“I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.”

Ifs Thinking Way Feels Moving Alive Progress Picks Right Thing My Time Good Way

Author:Demetri Martin

“Another thing that I like and that's fun for me is to try and talk and play music at the same time, because I feel like I'm learning something. There are these little challenges built into it; it's a way to push myself a little bit more as a performer.”

Way Feels Trying Littles Play Fun Bits Challenges Little Bit Built Performers

Author:Demetri Martin

“Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."”

Feels Sometimes Kids Funny Turns Sides Saws Comedy Connections Yeah Mad Stranger Hitting Malls Your Side

Author:Demetri Martin

“Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.”

Knows Feels Trying Ends Stupid Spells Bananas

Author:Demetri Martin

“It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.”

People Ifs Thinking Way Feels Doe Used Realizing Roles Like You Models Importance Versions Role Models Exaggerated

Author:Demetri Martin

“It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.”

People Feels Two Internet Outraged

Author:Demetri Martin

“When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.”

World Want Feels Trying Years Yeah Outrun

Author:Demetri Martin

“Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.”

Feels Years Sometimes Shows Remember Three Years Ago Three Years

Author:Demetri Martin

“If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.”

Ifs Want Feels Sexy Tape Scotch Nipples Scotch Tape

Author:Demetri Martin

“It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.”

Feels Sometimes Work Out Thursday

Author:Demetri Martin

“Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.”

Feels Sometimes Laughing Bird Window Jealousy Jealous Black Humor

Author:Demetri Martin

“I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.”

Knows Feels Lucky Grateful Fortunate Appreciative So Grateful Synonym

Author:Demetri Martin

“The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.”

Way Feels Trying Important Best Way

Book:This Is a Book

Source: This Is a Book

“Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.”

People Needs Feels Home Causes Party Strange Surprise Furniture Hints Surprise Party

Author:Demetri Martin

“I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.”

Knows Feels Doe Said Humor Funny Girl Names Talking Dog Like You Mets Yeah Cute Parks Liars Bites This Girl

Author:Demetri Martin

About the Author

Born: May 25, 1973
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 496

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Ifs Funny Humor Thinking People Comedy Knows Want Way Looks Trying Said Sometimes Men I'm Sorry Guy Shows Feels Would Be I Can

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People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

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This Is a BookRelated source material

Point Your Face at This: DrawingsRelated source material

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