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Famous Demetri Martin Quotes
“It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.”
“A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.”
“You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.”
“A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.”
“Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.”
“There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.”
“The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.”
Source: This Is a Book
“The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.”