“I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.”
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Famous Demetri Martin Quotes
“A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.”
“It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.”
“Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.”
“It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.”
“I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.”
“REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.”
Source: This Is a Book