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Famous Demetri Martin Quotes
“Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.”
“People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.”
“It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.”
“I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.”
“A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.”
“A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.”
“It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.”
“Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.”
“The problem with most people, is that they are most people.”
“If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.”
“I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.”
“I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.”
“But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.”
“100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.”