Quotessence
Home / Authors / Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes

Column Author

Filter quotes by topic

AllChildrenFunnyIfsMotherKidsHumorHumorousLiteratureKnowsFoodYearsGivingLooksFamilyBabyCarInspirationalMenRoomsThinking

Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes

“I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.”

EnoughKidsSchoolMotherGivenFeltBornToo MuchReadyBabyBirthHusbandShotsWake UpBreatheHipsEnough TimeMy BabyYour HusbandNot Enough Time
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
Create image

“If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.”

IfsChildrenHumorHandsEyeKidsFunnyHairBabyHumorousRaisedMy ChildrenWipeAttorney
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
Create image

“I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.”

ChildrenHumorKidsFunnyFacesBabyHumorousGlassesSpit
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
Create image

“Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”

ShouldChildrenHumorLightKidsFunnyLastsJoyEnjoyHoursChurchBabyLaughterHumorousMeetingsLifetimeAfter Hours
Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist
Create image