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Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes

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Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes

“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower." The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." Can it think?" Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." What's it for?" It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." You are a genius, " said the angel. Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.”

LoveChildrenHumorFamilySadnessMothersMothers Day
Book:When God Created Mothers
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“The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”

TryingLittlesCharacterTogetherRoomsCommonFamilyFiguresStrangeBandDiseaseMy FamilyBoundsOur FamilyTiesHidingThreadBrothers And SistersFamily LifeSiblingDessertFamily LoveBorrowingReunionYour BrotherAbout FamilyMy SiblingsLittle BrotherGreat FamilyToothpasteLove Your FamilyShampooSiblings SistersCute SiblingFamily ReunionSiblings BrothersLovely FamilyLove And FamilySiblings Sisters And BrothersFamily TiesFamily TogetherFunny Family ReunionFunny Brother And SisterFunny Brother SisterCute Brother And SisterFunny SiblingCommon ThreadsCute Brother SisterLove Life And FamilyCovetingSibling DayBorrowing MoneySibling InspirationalLife And FamilyLife Is PainHiding PainFamily MemoriesLove Our Family
Author:Erma Bombeck
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“To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.”

ThinkingWayChildrenParentFamilyCommunicateMy WayDeclineWay Of ThinkingAmerican Family
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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