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Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes
“Children make your life important.”
“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
“I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.”
“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”
“I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.”
“Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.”
“House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.”
“For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.”
“Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.”