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Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes

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Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes

“I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.”

EnoughKidsSchoolMotherGivenFeltBornToo MuchReadyBabyBirthHusbandShotsWake UpBreatheHipsEnough TimeMy BabyYour HusbandNot Enough Time
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.”

WorldTryingLooksLittlesKidsMovingDoubtRocksPaperEatingMouthsCatBallsSundayPensCigaretteMudSuspiciousPuppyBeefStewCrayonDinersGoldfishLittle BeeCat Food
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”

ThinkingMayShowsKidsDiesHouseNationsWhiteFoodGunIndependenceSoldierCelebrateMusclesPatrioticWhite HouseFourthPotatoes4th Of JulyFilesTanksJulySaladParadesIndependence DayPicnicsIndependence Day PatrioticJuly 4th 1776Patriotism In AmericaHappy Independence Day Usa4th Of July InspirationalHappy Independence DayFourth Of July InspirationalFrisbee4th Of July WishesInspiring Independence DayJuly 4Happy 4th Of JulyFunny 4th Of JulyPatriotic Gun4th Of July MilitaryPatriotic VeteranPotato Salad
Author:Erma Bombeck
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“If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.”

IfsChildrenHumorHandsEyeKidsFunnyHairBabyHumorousRaisedMy ChildrenWipeAttorney
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.”

ChildrenHumorKidsFunnyFacesBabyHumorousGlassesSpit
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.”

YearsLittlesBodyKidsLastsRememberGirlLostDogInformationTvsSixComputerYears AgoStoresBootsDishesLast TimeTeaseSpaghettiDiskKnobs
Author:Erma Bombeck
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“Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”

ShouldChildrenHumorLightKidsFunnyLastsJoyEnjoyHoursChurchBabyLaughterHumorousMeetingsLifetimeAfter Hours
Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist
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