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Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes

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Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes

“If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.”

IfsChildrenHumorHandsEyeKidsFunnyHairBabyHumorousRaisedMy ChildrenWipeAttorney
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.”

ChildrenHumorKidsFunnyFacesBabyHumorousGlassesSpit
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”

ShouldChildrenHumorLightKidsFunnyLastsJoyEnjoyHoursChurchBabyLaughterHumorousMeetingsLifetimeAfter Hours
Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist
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“Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.”

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Author:Erma Bombeck
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“One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.”

SonHumorousEarsPhonesTelephonesAnswering MachinesTransistors
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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