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Fernando Pessoa

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“I hesitate in everything, often without knowing why. How often I've sought – as my own version of the straight line, seeing it in my mind as the ideal straight line – the longest distance between two points. I've never had a knack for the active life. I've always taken wrong steps that no one else takes; I've always had to make an effort to do what comes naturally to other people. I've always wanted to achieve what others have achieved almost without wanting it. Between me and life there were always sheets of frosted glass that I couldn't tell were there by sight or by touch; I didn't live that life or that dimension. I was the daydream of what I wanted to be, and my dreaming began in my will: my goals were always the first fiction of what I never was.”

“I'll be living quietly in a house somewhere in the suburbs, enjoying a peaceful existence not writing the book I'm not writing now and, so as to continue not doing so, I will come up with different excuses from the ones I use now to avoid actually confronting myself. Or else I'll be interned in a poorhouse, content with my utter failure, mingling with the riffraff who believed they were geniuses when in fact they were just beggars with dreams, mixing with the anonymous mass of people who had neither the strength to triumph nor the power to turn their defeats into victories.”

“I make landscapes out of what I feel. I make holidays of my sensations. I can easily understand women who embroider out of sorrow or who crochet because life exists. My elderly aunt would play solitaire throughout the endless evening. These confessions of what I feel are my solitaire. I don't interpret them like those who read cards to tell the future. I don't probe them, because in solitaire the cards don't have any special significance. I unwind myself like a multicoloured skein, or I make string figures of myself, like those woven on spread fingers and passed from child to child. I only take care that my thumb not miss its loop. Then I turn over my hand and the figure changes. And I start over.”

“After I've slept many dreams, I go out to the street with my eyes wide open but still with the aura and assurance of my dreams. And I'm astonished by my automatism, which prevents others from really knowing me. For I go through daily life still holding the hand of my astral nursemaid; my steps are in perfect accord with the obscure designs of my sleeping mind. And I walk in the right direction; I don't stagger; I react well; I exist.”

“O exemplo máximo do homem prático, porque reúne a extrema concentração da acção com a sua extrema importância, é a do estratégico. Toda a vida é guerra, e a batalha é, pois, a síntese da vida. Ora o estratégico é um homem que joga com vidas como o jogador de xadrez com peças do jogo. Que seria do estratégico se pensasse que cada lance do seu jogo põe noite em mil lares e mágoa em três mil corações? Que seria do mundo se fôssemos humanos? Se o homem sentisse deveras não haveria civilização. A arte serve de fuga para a sensibilidade que a acção teve que esquecer. A arte é a Gata Borralheira, que ficou em casa porque teve que ser.”

“A leitura dos jornais, sempre penosa do ponto de ver estético é-o frequentemente também do moral, ainda para quem tenha poucas preocupações morais. As guerras e as revoluções - há sempre uma ou outra de que narram - chegam, na leitura dos seus efeitos, a causar não horror mas tédio. Não é a crueldade de todos aqueles mortos e feridos, o sacrifício de todos os que morrem batendo-se, ou são mortos sem que se batam, que pesa duramente na alma: é a estupidez que sacrifica vidas e haveres a qualquer coisa inevitavelmente inútil. Todos os ideais e todas as ambições são um desvio de comadres homens.”

“Walking down a street I see, in those who pass by me, not the facial expressions that they really have but the expressions that they would have if they knew what I'm like and the kind of life I lead, if my face and my gestures betrayed the shy and ridiculous abnormality of my soul. In eyes that don't even look at me I suspect there are smirks (which I consider only natural) directed at the awkward exception I embody in a world of people who know how to act and to enjoy life; and the passing physiognomies, informed by an awareness that I myself have interposed and superimposed, seem to snicker out loud at my life's timid gesticulations.”

“¿Qué hombre ha puesto sobre tus senos una mano que fuera la mía? ¿Qué beso te han dado que fuera como el mío? En aquellas tardes cálidas, cuando soñabas tanto, que soñabas que soñabas, ¿acaso no viste pasar, en lo más profundo de tus sueños, una figura velada y rápida, la que te daría toda la felicidad, la que te besaría indefinidamente? Era yo. Soy yo. Soy aquél al que siempre has buscado y nunca podrás encontrar. Tal vez, en el fondo inmenso del abismo, el propio Dios me busque para que yo lo complete, pero la maldición del Dios Más Viejo (el Saturno de Jehová) pende sobre él y sobre mí, nos separa, cuando nos debería unir para que la vida y lo que deseamos de ella fueran una sola cosa.”

“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it. Collective thought is stupid because it's collective. Nothing passes into the realm of the collective without leaving at the border--like a toll--most of the intelligence it contained. In youth we're twofold. Our innate intelligence, which may be considerable, coexists with the stupidity of our inexperience, which forms a second, lesser intelligence. Only later on do the two unite. That's why youth always blunders - not because of its inexperience, but because of its non-unity. Today the only course left for the man of superior intelligence is abdication.”