Best blame & funny Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.”

Hard Funny Winning Social Loss Media Gold Blame Social Media Defense Swimming Olympics Medal Australian Tweet Gold Medals Swimmer London Olympics

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Bless your heart, they don't mind--they're exceedingly kind-- They don't blame you--as long as you're funny!”

Mind Heart Kind Long Funny Blame Bless

Author:W. S. Gilbert

“The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune.”

Humor Funny Thousand Blame Fortune Fickle Inconstancy

Author:Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.”

Humor Funny Father Animal Blame Gas Imaginary

Author:Bill Cosby

“I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.”

Thinking I Can Humor Funny Found Given Difficult Tree Circumstances Right Now Blame Forests

Author:Denis Leary

“I wish I could blame my failure on my integrity & refusal to play bullshit games. But the truth is I just play them really badly.”

Play Funny Games Wish Comedy Integrity Truth Is Blame Bullshit Refusal

Author:Stephen Schneider

“The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.”

Humor Funny Gay Blame Aids Radical Global Warming Hiv Homophobic Quilts

Author:Dennis Miller

“Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.”

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”

Source: Theodore Roosevelt on Bravery: Lessons from the Most Courageous Leader of the Twentieth Century

“I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”

“When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.”

Humor Funny Doubt Blame When In Doubt

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.”

Ifs Should Ends Humor Funny Life Is Half Walking Depression Blame Suicide Sat Worthwhile Life Is Like Every Second Walking Out

Author:Doug Stanhope

“In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman.”

Firsts Funny Women Chance Feminism First Time Blame Feminist Passing Passings Empowering Adam Time Passing Funny Men And Women Funny Strong Women

Author:Nancy Astor

“You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.”

Knows Want War Funny Military Blame Iraq Toys New Toys

Author:Andy Rooney

“I blame al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!”

Funny Military Blame Marketing Als Baghdad

Author:Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

“They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.”

Ifs Life Funny Perfect Mistake Office Computer Blame Come Up Witty Hilarious

Author:Milton Berle

“Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.”

People Trying Believe Humor Funny Christ Blame Killing Jew

Author:Sarah Silverman

“ACT and SAT each have their own parts of the country. The GRE has its lock on graduate admissions. And so, one could blame the companies, but really, economically, they have no incentive to change things very much because they're getting the business.”

Inspirational Country Funny Company Blame Sat Graduates Locks Graduation Incentives Admission Mind Your Own Business

Author:Robert Sternberg

“I never wanted to go on stage alone because if you mess up, who can you blame?”

Ifs Wanted Funny Stage Goes On Humorous Blame Entrepreneur Actresses Singers Mess African American Me Alone Messed Up Blaming Others

Author:Patti LaBelle

“The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, "The trouble with this country is...."”

People Country Funny America Trouble Humorous Blame

Book:Dodsworth

Source: Dodsworth

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