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Duck Quotes

Browse 320 quotes about Duck.

Duck Quotes

“When I walk my feet and knees pop. They always have. I could never be a ninja. I'm as stealthy as a strobe light at midnight, which of course is the universal sign for Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. My neighbors love when I flash that deal outside their bedroom windows.”

“Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, neither cats nor waterfalls lay eggs, which makes ducks the superior jazz musicians.”

“A simple roast duck, with an orange sauce, might be a good way to start," he said. "The secret is to prick the skin in a thousand places, place it in a moderate oven for an hour, bring it out, let it stand for the fat to run off, then baste it, put it back in a hot oven to crisp the skin." "Is this how you are serving it tonight?" "No, that would be an insult to my talent," he said. "I serve the traditional magret de canard. The breast of the duck cooked in its own fat until the skin is crisp, and then I shall serve it with figs and balsamic vinegar and local honey.”

“Maybe we communicate with ducks not through words, but with body language. Maybe the word quack doesn’t mean everything—or even anything. Maybe all that matters is what our body says when we converse with a duck.”

“People have been stabbed over spicy chicken sandwiches. The duck farm industry could benefit from that kind of violence to help increase sales.”

“The Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich was so popular that customers stabbed each other to get it, and then seeing that passion, McDonald's created its own Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Here on my duck farm, I fully support McDonald's trying to get their customers to stab each other.”

“Why aren’t more news articles written about duck farms? Is it because the end product doesn’t produce obscene violence? It’s true, people do stab each other over spicy chicken sandwiches, but think of the savagery over my eggs that’ll take place when all that’s left in the grocery store is Beyond Meat.”

“I once got stabbed, and all I got to show for it was a Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Oh, and a scar. But that was years ago, so I think they should release a Spicy Duck Sandwich—and when purchased, it would include a FREE knife.”

“Of all the animals that fly, some are like floating flowers (butterflies), some are songbirds that are full of gulp (swallows), and some are swimming birds that also run marathons (ducks). When I compose music to be performed live in an elevator, those are my inspirations.”

“It's Apicius-Style Duck. Enjoy." Apicius-Style Duck is a dish said to have been a favorite of a famous seventeenth-century Italian gourmand. The recipe calls for duck breasts to be roasted and then have the skin side coated in spices and a caramelized honey glaze. "Look at how the caramelized honey gleams!" "The layer of spices crusting the outer skin smells amazing too!”

“Along with ducks, I’m somewhat of a wine expert. I know there are three kinds of wine: Red, white, and pink, for those connoisseurs like me who mix the two for optimal chugging. I should be a sommelier and rent out my alcoholic grape juice experience to sophisticated buyers.”

“I like my duck eggs runny, like Roger Bannister when he broke the four-minute mile barrier.”

“It's a bird of some sort. It's like a duck, only I never saw a duck have so many colors." The bird swam swiftly and gracefully toward the Magic Isle, and as it drew nearer its gorgeously colored plumage astonished them. The feathers were of many hues of glistening greens and blues and purples, and it had a yellow head with a red plume, and pink, white and violet in its tail.”

“A can of tomato soup has many uses. One of them is as a projectile through a window. Next time, buy some Condensed Duck Juice.”

“My favorite part about a wind farm is the invisible fruit that it yields. Plus, it's like a garden of giant metal flowers, and that's almost as romantic as a book composed exclusively of duck quotes.”

“Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. Here at my Duck Farm Gift Shop, I've got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I'll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)”

“Time flies, it's true. But what kind of wings does it have, butterfly wings, bat wings, or eagle wings? None. It has the wings of a duck, which is why I'm surprised nobody in history has noticed that time also swims.”

“I bought an aquarium for my ducks, because that's kind of how I dance. Lessons start at $19.83 and move on up to 1984 in a Boogaloo Orwell mix. There was too much electricity, so I had to unplug my moves from The Matrix. (Kneepads not included.)”

“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”