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Funny Holiday Quotes

Browse 32 quotes about Funny Holiday.

Funny Holiday Quotes

“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.”

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Author:Oren Arnold
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“Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”

FunnySpiritNextTearsChristmasFasterPacksCircusChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas LoveMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas MagicShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasCharity At ChristmasHumorous ChristmasFunny HolidayWinter ChristmasWitty ChristmasWinter HolidayHoliday Thoughts
Author:Kin Hubbard
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“To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.”

HeartChildrenEnemyExampleCharityCustomersToleranceChristmasOpponentsGood ExamplesInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayChristmas TreeChristmas EveFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonFestiveMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonChristmas MagicChristmas MessageChristmas TimeShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesChristmas SongCharity At ChristmasChristmas PartyBest HolidayChristmas GivingHoliday GivingInspirational HolidayBelieve In SantaCute Merry ChristmasChristmas ShoppingFunny HolidayWarm ChristmasPositive HolidaySeason Of GivingBelieving In ChristmasClassic ChristmasWinter ChristmasFamily ChristmasChildren ChristmasWinter HolidayGreat Holiday
Author:Oren Arnold
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“Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”

GratefulLegsChristmasBe GratefulThankfulnessFillingThankful GratitudeChristmas DayGratitude And AppreciationChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsStockingsBest ChristmasChristmas WishesThankful HeartThank You GodChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonChristmas SeasonChristmas MagicChristmas MessageChristmas TimeGrateful For YouChristmas PresentHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasGrateful ThankfulChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasChristian ChristmasMeaning Of ChristmasGratitude To GodBest HolidayChristmas GreetingsChristmas CheerInspirational HolidayCute ChristmasCute Merry ChristmasHappy HolidaysFunny HolidayMerry Christmas GreetingsHoliday CardReligious HolidayClassic ChristmasWitty ChristmasGrateful And ThankfulMerry Xmas FunnyHoliday LoveHoliday CheerThanksgiving GratefulChristmas PrayerGrateful To God
Author:Gilbert K. Chesterton
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“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”

MenReasonRealityFunnyPoliticalThreeReligiousWiseSceneCourtSupremeChristmasVirginsSupreme CourtSantaVirginitySanta ClausInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayChristmas TreeChristmas EveFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas LoveShort ChristmasReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasNativityChristmas PartyChristmas CheerBelieve In SantaHumorous ChristmasGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayHoliday CardReligious HolidayBelieving In ChristmasClassic ChristmasWinter ChristmasWitty ChristmasFamily ChristmasMerry Xmas FunnyHoliday CheerThree Wise Men
Author:Jay Leno
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“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”

WayChoicesReligiousSeasonsChristmasHolidayMerryMallsChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayChristmas TreeChristmas EveFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsBest ChristmasChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonChristmas MagicChristmas MessageChristmas TimeShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesBest HolidayChristmas CheerInspirational HolidayCute ChristmasCute Merry ChristmasHappy HolidaysHumorous ChristmasChristmas ShoppingFunny HolidayHoliday SpiritPositive HolidayReligious HolidayFamily ChristmasHoliday CheerGoing On Holiday
Author:Dave Barry
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“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.”

InspirationalYearsPersonsKissingBehaviorMarriedSeasonsCleverDrunkHolidayResolutionNew YearDrunkennessNew Years EveHappy New YearNew Year's ResolutionsFunny ChristmasNew Year New StartHappy New Year EveHoliday SeasonNew Years Eve InspirationalFunny Happy New YearNew Year WishesGreat YearHappy New Year LoveNew Year New MeNew Years Eve LoveHappy New Year WishesNew Years ToastFunny New YearsFunny New Years EveNew Years Wishes GreetingsFunny New Years ResolutionHappy New Year GreetingsNew Year GreetingsChristian New YearFunny HolidayNew Years HolidaySpiritual New YearNew Years Eve Greetings
Book:Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
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“That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”

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Author:Jerry Seinfeld
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“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.”

TogetherChristmasAll TimeHolidayMerryInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayTime TogetherChristmas EveFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonChristmas CardChristmas MagicChristmas TimeShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesChristian ChristmasMeaning Of ChristmasCharity At ChristmasBest HolidayChristmas GreetingsChristmas CheerInspirational HolidayCute ChristmasHumorous ChristmasFunny HolidayWarm ChristmasHoliday SpiritMeaningful ChristmasReligious HolidayGift Of TimeJesus ChristmasAdvent ChristmasHoliday CheerChristmas PrayerMerry Christmas Images
Author:Alexander Smith
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“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”

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Author:Jon Stewart
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“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

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Author:Shirley Temple
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“Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.”

PeopleYearsIdeasHumorFunnyHumorousAgingWittyChristmasComedianGuestsSantaVisitingVisitorsSanta ClausPianistConductorChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesHoliday SeasonMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonChristmas CardChristmas MessageShort ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesRight IdeasChristmas SongMerry Christmas CardsChristmas CheerCute ChristmasBelieve In SantaCute Merry ChristmasHumorous ChristmasGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayHoliday SpiritMerry Christmas Greeting CardBelieving In ChristmasWitty ChristmasFamily ChristmasFather ChristmasAdvent ChristmasMerry Christmas ImagesChristmas Greeting Card
Author:Victor Borge
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“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.”

WorldRoomsCleanChristmasProducersMessGloriousHolidaySantaMerryLiving RoomHumoristsInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayChristmas EveFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsBest ChristmasChristmas WishesAmerican WriterChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonFestiveMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas MagicChristmas MessageShort ChristmasChristmas PresentHoliday TraditionsChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesBest HolidayChristmas GreetingsChristmas CheerInspirational HolidayCute ChristmasHappy HolidaysHumorous ChristmasChristmas PeaceFunny HolidayMerry Christmas GreetingsWarm ChristmasHoliday CardMeaningful ChristmasPositive HolidayChristmas FriendshipBelieving In ChristmasClassic ChristmasMerry Xmas FunnyFather ChristmasHoliday LoveHoliday ThoughtsHoliday CheerMerry Christmas Images
Author:Andy Rooney
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“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”

LittlesChristmasExtrasHolidayMerryChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas GiftChristmas WishesChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonChristmas CardChristmas MagicShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesCharity At ChristmasChristmas PartyBest HolidayChristmas GivingGifts Of The SpiritMerry Christmas CardsHoliday GivingCute ChristmasChristmas PeaceGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayHoliday CardHoliday SpiritMerry Christmas Greeting CardFilled InMeaningful ChristmasSeason Of GivingReligious HolidayWinter ChristmasFamily HolidayWinter HolidayMemorable ChristmasHoliday ThoughtsChristmas Prayer
Author:Charles M. Schulz
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“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

KnowsReasonHumorFunnyGirlHumourHumorousChristmasComicComedianHolidaySantaSanta ClausCheesyHumoristsChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasChristmas DayMerry ChristmasJollyChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasXmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesFestiveMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas SeasonBad GirlChristmas MagicChristmas MessageShort ChristmasReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsFunny Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas WishesChristmas SongChristmas PartyGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayHoliday SpiritMerry Christmas Greeting CardReligious HolidayWitty ChristmasFamily ChristmasMemorable ChristmasChristmas Greeting Card
Author:George Carlin
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“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

FunnyLosesOfficeHumorousWittyChristmasPostsHolidaySarcasticMailSantaPackagesSanta ClausInspirational ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasPost OfficeMerry Christmas InspirationalChristmas CardChristmas MessageChristmas TimeShort ChristmasReligious ChristmasChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasChristian ChristmasChristmas GivingChristmas CheerHoliday GivingInspirational HolidayCute ChristmasChristmas MorningCute Merry ChristmasHumorous ChristmasChristmas PeaceChristmas ShoppingGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayPositive HolidayReligious HolidayWitty ChristmasHoliday CheerHome For Christmas
Author:Johnny Carson
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“As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.”

PeopleFamilyStruggleOur LivesListsChristmasWeatherHolidayShoppingInvitationsDecemberAggravationChristmas DayChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsHoliday SeasonChristmas MagicBad WeatherHoliday TraditionsBest HolidayChristmas CheerInspirational HolidayChristmas ShoppingGreat ChristmasFunny HolidayWarm ChristmasPeople In Our LivesGreat HolidayHoliday Cheer
Author:Donald E. Westlake
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“Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”

GivingMeanChildrenLittlesChristmasInspirational ChristmasChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas GiftBest ChristmasChristmas WishesBest GiftChristmas CardChristmas MagicShort ChristmasHoliday TraditionsChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardFunny Merry ChristmasBest HolidayChristmas GivingMerry Christmas CardsHoliday GivingCute ChristmasCute Merry ChristmasHumorous ChristmasFunny HolidayHoliday CardMerry Christmas Greeting CardChristmas FriendshipGifts And GivingWitty ChristmasHoliday Greeting CardChildren Christmas
Author:Kin Hubbard
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“There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.”

MenMadeFunnyDrinkTasteResponsibleChristmasRemarkableEggsMatureCheeseAlcoholicsBreakdownCottagesInspirational ChristmasChristmas HolidayGrown ManFunny ChristmasHolliesXmasChristmas ThoughtsBeveragesChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsHumorous ChristmasNecktiesFunny HolidayHoliday CardHoliday Greeting Card
Book:Modern manners
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“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.”

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Book:Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
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“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”

ChildrenGratitudeGratefulFilledLegsChristmasHolidayBe GratefulFillingThankful GratitudeChristmas DayGratitude And AppreciationChristmas HolidayFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsGreat GratitudeStockingsBest ChristmasChristmas WishesThankful HeartThank You GodChristmas LoveHoliday SeasonChristmas SeasonChristmas MessageChristmas TimeGrateful For YouChristmas PresentHoliday TraditionsReligious ChristmasGrateful ThankfulChristmas Card GreetingsChristmas Holiday GreetingsFunny Christmas CardChristmas JoyFunny Merry ChristmasChristian ChristmasMeaning Of ChristmasBest HolidayChristmas GreetingsChristmas CheerCute ChristmasCute Merry ChristmasHappy HolidaysFunny HolidayReligious HolidayWitty ChristmasGrateful And ThankfulMerry Xmas FunnyChildren ChristmasHoliday LoveHoliday CheerChristmas PrayerGrateful To GodChrist Child
Author:Gilbert K. Chesterton
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“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.”

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Author:Bing Crosby
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“What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”

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Author:Phyllis Diller
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