“Half the guys drafted in front of me are working at Target right now.” GuyHalfFrontsRight NowTarget Author:Maurice Jones-Drew
“I feel good doing it. It's not like guys are stripping me at half-court or I'm just losing the ball dribbling. I think I'm handling the ball pretty well, just trying to make good passes, man.” ThinkingMenFeelsTryingWellsGuyHalfLosingBallsCourtFeel GoodI Feel GoodStripping Author:Kevin Durant
“You see, even though back then Barack was a Senator and a presidential candidate... to me, he was still the guy who'd picked me up for our dates in a car that was so rusted out, I could actually see the pavement going by through a hole in the passenger side door... he was the guy whose proudest possession was a coffee table he'd found in a dumpster, and whose only pair of decent shoes was half a size too small.” StillsGuyFoundSidesHalfDoorsCarTablesShoesSizePossessionCoffeeHolesBarackPresidentialCandidatesDecentPairsSenatorsPassengersPavementPresidential CandidateDumpstersSimple Guy Author:Michelle Obama
“Jesus is a half-naked guy, hanging, nailed to a cross, and then people wear that around their neck, and then those are the people that are upset about violence in movies.” PeopleGuyJesusHalfViolenceCrossesNakedUpsetNecksViolence In Movies Author:Marilyn Manson
“I had two projects that fell apart during preproduction. The first one was this movie that Judd Apatow and I had written about two guys following the Rolling Stones. It was going to be half concert film, half pseudo-documentary. It was Mick Jagger's idea.The other one was Simple Plan, based on a novel by Scott Smith. It's a great book - really stark, not a comedy - about a guy who finds $4 million in a plane crash and decides to keep it.” FirstsTwoBookIdeasFilmGuySimpleHalfMillionsNovelComedyPlansWrittenProjectsStonesFollowingPlanesConcertsCrashRollingDocumentariesStarksRolling StonesGreat BookPseudoTwo GuysJaggerPlane CrashesSimple Plan Author:Ben Stiller
“I love playing half squid/half crab guy because you can get away with a level of acting that if you tried it anywhere else they'd arrest you for crimes against acting.” IfsGuyLevelsActingHalfCrimeGet AwayCrabsSquids Author:Bill Nighy
“Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who ran up a half-million dollar bill at Tiffany?” WantGivingCountryGuySocialHalfMillionsAdviceSecurityBillsDollarsFinancialRanSocial SecurityQualifiedMillion DollarsNewtsDollar BillsFinancial Advice Author:David Letterman
“I've lived in California for half of my life. It's weird, everyone thinks of me as this guy who's from the South ... I'm really a Californian.” ThinkingGuyHalfSouthCaliforniaThis GuyThink Of MeCalifornians Author:Billy Bob Thornton
“In theater, there's a lot of discipline involved in doing eight shows a week for a year and a half. It's nice to be able to bring some of that bag of tools with you over to the film world, where you don't have the rehearsal, you don't have an audience. You don't have a month of rehearsal to examine these words, and you meet the guy who's going to play your brother the morning that you shoot the scene. So you need a bag of tools.” WorldNeedsYearsPlayShowsAbleFilmGuyHalfMorningAudienceNiceWeekBrotherMonthsDisciplineInvolvedSceneToolsTheaterEightBagsRehearsalYour Brother Author:William Sadler
“I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.” PeopleIfsKnowsMatterShowsGuyHalfCasesMastersNeededDegreesIntelligentDumbEms Author:Phil Robertson
“I live out in the desert, in farm country. I'm around a lot of farmers, guys with packing houses, that sort of thing. Half the time, these guys are in their pajamas or in their slippers. It's their place.” CountryGuyHouseHalfDesertFarmsFarmersPajamasPackingSlippers Author:William Devane
“I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.” WantKindLittlesLastsGuyBitsHalfBoysMissingLittle BitNotionGenesMy Best FriendMamaGolfingSteakMama's Boy Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Guy Savelli's role in the War on Terror began when half-a-dozen strangers, within days of one another, contacted him via e-mail and telephone in the winter of 2003. They asked him if he had the power to psychically kill goats. Guy was bewildered. He did not go around publicizing this. Who were these men? How did they know about the goats? He feigned a casual tone of voice and said, 'Sure I can.'Then he phoned Special Forces.” IfsKnowsMenSaidI CanWarGuyForceVoiceHalfRolesSpecialWinterTerrorStrangerToneDozenMailTelephonesCasualGoatsWar On TerrorBewilderedSpecial Forces Author:Jon Ronson
“Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'” LittlesSaidCountryStoriesTodayGuyTurnsVoiceBehindsHalfMinutesListeningCoupleInternetBirdGovernorsAmazedTurkeysAlaskaPalin Author:Jay Leno
“This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that they've installed will eventually capture the vast majority of oil spewing from the well. You know, if they could capture half the BS spewing from Tony Hayward, people would be thrilled.” PeopleIfsKnowsBelieveWellsWould BeGuyNamesHalfMajorityOilSundayCaptureCaps Author:Jay Leno
“A lot of chefs don't have a natural sense of economy. I was with one guy the other day and I had to show him how to peel a turnip, because the way he was peeling turnips, he was throwing half of it in the garbage. It's not about being cheap. It's about being proper.” WayShowsGuyNaturalHalfEconomyThrowingChefGarbagePeelingTurnips Author:Daniel Boulud
“I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.” ThinkingNeedsKindSchoolGuyStuffHalfOpinionLaughingMinutesInformationTenPercentHigh SchoolAccessBarsDumbIdiotMake SenseLoudRealisingDumb GuyInformed Opinions Author:Bill Burr
“Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!” DoeHumorFunnyGuyFallHalfSawsProjectsBoxesEntertainmentTricksDesperateHatsThis GuyMagicianRabbits Author:Chris Rock
“I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.” PeopleImportantStoriesHumorLightEyeKidsFunnyUsedGuyJesusCausesHalfLaughingSawsRight NowOkayBlindHis EyesTrafficArmstrongHalf FullBracelet Author:Daniel Tosh
“Our [American] money system is structurally brittle. It doesn't matter if you put a very clever guy or a stupid guy at the wheel. The clever guy will take a half hour to have an accident, and the stupid guy will take ten minutes.” IfsMatterGuyHoursHalfMinutesStupidTenAccidentsCleverWheelsHalf HoursVery CleverStupid Guy Author:Bernard Lietaer
“Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."” PeopleLittlesDoeI CanTwoWholeBigsFunnyJobsGuyHalfHellClearComedyFeetHigherBottlesThis GuyPillsPharmacist Author:Jerry Seinfeld
“Prince is king to me. As this half-naked, short black guy who looked like a girl in the 70s and 80s, he was talking about women in a way that was very unusual because he didn't objectify them.” WayGuyGirlBlackHalfTalkingKingsNakedUnusual80sBlack Guys Author:Robyn
“If I had to rate myself between one and 10? If you're a gingerist and like ginger guys, I guess I'm a seven, with make-up on maybe an eight. If you're not a gingerist, I'm probably a six, six and a half.” IfsGuyHalfSixSevenRateEightGinger Author:Jason Flemyng
“You've got this guy who refuses to die for some reason whether it be a physical or metaphysical reason or spiritual reason so you can do anything. You can kill off anybody and you can still bring them back because he's kind of half there and half in reality, you know?” KnowsKindStillsReasonRealitySpiritualGuyDiesCan DoHalfRefuseMetaphysicalThis Guy Author:Josh Brolin
“It's okay for someone to chase me and then try to cut me off so I ram my car into a tree . . . I mean, I know this guy was trying to do his job, but his "job" almost landed me half-dead.” KnowsTryingMeanJobsGuyHalfCuttingTreeCarOkayThis GuyRams Author:Lindsay Lohan
“Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.” IfsWayKindNightGuyNextPresidentHalfFeetTvsGoes OnMetsThirtyFiftyShoreRopeDrowningHalf WayKissinger Author:Mort Sahl
“One night a guy hit his head on a welding gun. He went to his knees. He was bleeding like a pig, blood was oozing out. So I stopped the line for a second and ran over to help him. The foreman turned the line on again, he almost stepped on the guy. That's the first thing they always do. They didn't even call an ambulance. The guy walked to the medic department -- that's about half a mile -- he had about five stitches put in his head. The foreman didn't say anything. He just turned the line on. You're nothing to any of them.” FirstsHelpingNightGuyLinesHalfFiveBloodGunMilesKneesRanDepartmentPigsSay AnythingOne NightBleedingStitchesAmbulanceWeldingMedics Book:Working Source: Working
“I haven't had sex in two and a half years. A guy I met in San Francisco gave me a sympathy blow job. It didn't really work. I said, "You're just doing this 'cause you feel sorry for me." We stopped in the middle.” FeelsYearsSaidTwoJobsGuySexCausesHalfMiddleHavensMetsSorryBlowSan FranciscoHalf A YearBlow Job Author:Kevin Sessums
“Women are much more discriminating. I think both types of people are equally interested in having an attractive partner. But women essentially give the thumbs up to only half as many guys as guys giving the thumbs up to women.” PeopleThinkingGivingGuyHalfTypePartnersAttractiveThumbsThumbs Up Author:Christian Rudder
“I'm a festive guy to begin with and Halloween is my favorite holiday. I went all out on this one costume. It's a ghoul that makes me approximately 10 feet tall when I wear it. I actually got an offer to work at a haunted house because the costume is so great, and I did it for about an hour and a half before I got too cold and had to quit to go inside. Michigan winters are no joke.” GuyHouseHoursHalfFeetColdOffersJokesWinterMy FavoriteQuittingHolidayTallHalloweenCostumesMichiganGhoulsFestiveHaunted Houses Author:Andre Dirrell
“I ended up meeting this guy Stefan Simchowitz, who produced Requiem for a Dream and also went to AFI. I randomly met him in Cannes. By September of 2000, we had made a deal with this company that he was working with. They merged with us and in January of 2001, we opened WireImage. It was pretty crazy because I only started shooting celebrity stuff in 1998 - literally two and a half years later, I'm opening this company.” YearsMadeTwoDreamGuyStuffDealsHalfCompanyCrazyMetsMeetingsOpeningShootingSeptemberThis GuyJanuaryHalf A YearCannesRequiemRequiem For A Dream Author:Jeff Vespa