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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours.”

Funny Jobs Loses Depression Smart Laughter Humorous Conservative Witty Neighbor Recessions Great Depression Funny Jokes Great Recession Economic Depression Economic Recession

Author:Ronald Reagan

“When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering.”

Looks Littles Made God Humor Funny Jobs Opportunity Stupid Humorous Ugly Mess Sheer Incompetence Staggering Yossarian

Book:Catch-22: A Novel

Source: Catch-22: A Novel

“The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”

Art Jobs Artist Existence Despair Humorous Witty Paris Emptiness Midnight Antidote

Author:Woody Allen

“There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.”

“Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.”

Source: The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig

“If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.”

Ifs Life Funny Jobs Love You Havens Humorous Epic Funny Life Love Your Job Need A Vacation Bottle Rocket

Author:Tommy Lasorda

“If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.”

Ifs Feels Persons Done Funny Jobs Film Humorous Witty Miserable

Book:Woody Allen: Interviews

Source: Woody Allen: Interviews

“Learn to help people with more than just their jobs: help them with their lives.”

People Helping Jobs Humorous Management

Author:Jim Rohn

“If a man….who’s playing in front of the public, is being well paid, and he doesn’t dedicate himself to the job, I’d be hard on him. If I could I would put him in jail, out of the road of society. Because he’s a menace”

Ifs Men Wells Hard Funny Jobs Sports Society Fronts Football Humorous Paid If I Could Jail Dedication Footballer Menace

Author:Bill Shankly

“If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.”

Ifs Humor Might Funny Jobs Causes Security Missing Food Humorous Saving Planes Airline Personnel Air Travel Saving Your Life

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need