Best humorous & self Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."”

Want Mind May Said Self Character Funny Speak Easy Prove Humorous Sticks Rap Witness

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.”

Giving Self Funny Air Humorous Breaths Denial Staring Sat Self-denial

Book:Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].

Source: Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

Source: 101 Facts of life

“A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.”

Men Life Self Hours Dark Greater Humorous Ideals Increase Misery Miserable Companion Subconscious Dens Taunting

Book:Uneasy Money

Source: Uneasy Money

“Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.”

Self Self Esteem Humorous Witty Esteem Notches

Author:Woody Allen

“Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."”

Needs Children Self Funny Parent Car Self Esteem Proud Achievement Humorous Witty Esteem Sufficient Sarcastic Minors Promoting Stupid People Bumper Sticker Bumper Sticker Scholastics

Author:George Carlin

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

Ifs Said Self Helping Humor Inspiration Funny Purpose Self Help Self Improvement Humorous Defeat Witty Insight Sarcastic Sections Hilarious Bookstores Bookshops Self Help Books Booksellers

Author:George Carlin

“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”

People Inspirational Self Self Esteem Lows Humorous Esteem Comedian Stupid People Low Self Esteem

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“What is your Self? Self is nothing but joy. A joyous person is definitely a person who has got his Self expressing through his joy. Such a person is so joy-giving, so humorous, and never degrading anyone.”

Love Giving Persons Self Wisdom Joy Spirit Meditation Humorous Yoga Wellness Joyous Degrading

Author:Nirmala Srivastava

“I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

“Being bored is an insult to oneself.”

Self Funny Humorous Oneself Enthusiasm Bored Boredom Insult Insulting Being Bored

Book:The journal of Jules Renard

Source: The journal of Jules Renard

“Acid is not for every brain .... Only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. This elitism is totally self-determined. Unless you are self-confident, self-directed, self-selected, please abstain.”

Should Self Brain Please Healthy Drug Humorous Determined Hopeful Handsome Acid Selected Velocity Elitism Self Confident Healthy Happy

Author:Timothy Leary

“God is indeed dead. He died of self-horror when He saw the creature He had made in His own image.”

Made Self God Humor Funny Saws Horror Creatures Humorous Died

Book:The whole bloody bird: obs, aphs & pomes

Source: The whole bloody bird: obs, aphs & pomes

“Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the Canadian sense of self is so frail and delicate a bud, that the only thing stopping it from being swallowed whole by the US is an English lady in a funny hat.”

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Humorous Quotes